be_compromised | Girl's Afternoon At The Movies

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Girl's Afternoon At The Movies

So two of my girlfriends and I went to the movies this afternoon. We were supposed to go tonight but, feeding the kids and all that ... Anyway. Off we headed, without said children (the thing is rated "R" for a reason) to the IMAX 3D Silver City to see Hansel and Gretel, Witchhunters. (Of course, the reviews sucked, and of course, the critics are wrinking their noses. But I noticed the Rotten Tomatoes score actually keeps climbing, and me and my friends would watch a two-hour slide of Jeremy Renner, sooo ...

What's not to love?

And whaddya know? Yes, certain reviewers -- who obviously have no sense of humour -- tittered about the anachronisms. Hello? Fairy Tale? Exactly whose time line are we talking about here? We had a grand ol' time. Expected campy gore, got campy gore. Witch bits flying at us in 3D! Things blowing up! Evil people getting smooshed in bad ways! IMHO, we are looking at a future Midnight Classic. (They scoffed at Starship Troopers, too, didn't they? Now look where it is, in the pantheon of A-grade B-movies!)

What I didn't expect -- and the moment when I whispered to Kathy that I'd just gotten my price of admission's worth -- is this.

The whole thing can best be summed up by the line "Revenge won't bring back our parents. But it sure as hell feels good."

So -- yeah.

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I can't wrap my mind around "anachronistic" complaints: HELLO STEAMPUNK GENRE.

That said, I really want to see it even tho most reviews say it's erratic, uneven and frankly pretty bad. (CNN said something like 'we hope Jeremy Renner was more animated in cashing his check than he is in this movie') simply because..... RENNER

YES -- on all scores. JR is actually ... well, underused, but perfect for what he's being asked to do. There are only so many emotions you can convey when you are being thrown against a tree (repeatedly).

Oh -- BTW -- major personal breakthrough. Did you notice I managed to put photos into my post!!! And under cut, yet?? So proud. So, so proud. :-)

dude I am so proud of your personal breakthrough!! I just learned how to make cuts for links, and how to name them things so its not just me copying and pasting a link ;) I haven't yet mastered putting pictures in my posts, with cuts or otherwise. props and kudos for you!!! :D

Edited 2013-01-28 02:42 (UTC)

I did - believe me I DID notice your most beautious pictures! Whereever did you find that glorious pic of Hansel/Jeremy all bruised up? (I think I'm showing what a sick sick puppy I am that I am all agog over a picture of a bruised half naked man)

I wondered too - er.... exactly *how* much of Jeremy do we see during the swimming/healing waters?

God, I guess I"m going to have to go see this. Even tho I don't like gore/horror.

Q: "I wondered too - er.... exactly *how* much of Jeremy do we see during the swimming/healing waters?" A: Not nearly enough!

As for the pic, Google Is Your Friend. Just enter "Renner" and "Hansel" into the image search, and all sorts of steampunky goodness pops up... :-)

A/U anyone ...???

I think I'm showing what a sick sick puppy I am that I am all agog over a picture of a bruised half naked man

Not at all. After all he is injured, so somebody has to check for injuries, which is pretty hard to do when they are covered by cloths. And of cause his injuries need to be treated, which is also hard to do when he wears cloths. So you see, it has nothing to do with wanting to see a bruised half naked man but simply with the fact that one cares about the well being of said man. ;)
Damn, I now have the “Kissing it better”-scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark in my mind. Only it’s not staring Harrison Ford and Karen Allen.

Yes to all of that :D Legitimate reasons are legitimate!

Edited 2013-01-28 07:46 (UTC)

I saw the movie this Saturday om 3D too and frankly I didn´t pay to much attention to the storyline because HELLO! Renner on the big screen.

That said I was realy mad that the blonde/red girl showed her behind and Jeremy didn´t? So it´s cool for women to show naked but not men? Come on Renner!!! We already know how your lovely but looks like. But than again that is an American movie...

I thought really odd that he sleeped on the floor without anything under him.

There are other oddities but beside that I'll be buying the DVD because it's good entertainment and Renner is gorgeous on it. I love his voice and would hear him speaking prophanaties and I would still orgasm.

Was it Bruce Willis who once cried gender bias, because in American cinema, full frontal female nudity gets an R rating, but full frontal male nudity gets an X rating.

I agree, that is BIASED.

Yes, and the butt inequality in this instance is something BOTH of my friends commented on. But then again -- we got to see HIS chest (yay for 3D IMAX abs and pecs), but not hers.

But yes, generally, you can tell that both the folks making the movies and the censors who judge them tend to be male, with corresponding biases.

If this movie were British we would have full frontal Renner nudity. Millions of women would die all over the world... LOL

And that is why I love to hund down old movies of Danielo Craig, lots of full frontal, behind and all angles in all his naked glory. And oh boy, that man has one fine ass.

You have to agree though - sleepy!Hansel being all adorkable and rolling under the bed?! I might have melted ...

Oh yeah, that was awesome too. And rolling under the bed? Really? I guess sometimes the nightmares come back and under any bed is really good place to be.

I also loved the way he get all week because of his sugar sickness. gojng to hell because of that for sure, but ... DAMN. week in the knee Renner just play all my buttons.

Yes, yes yes and again - YES! *laughs* he was so flipping adorable ... just in general - he was SO the princess of this particular story - WHERE WAS HIS TIARA?!

Yeah -- really liked the scene with The Girl, too. Man has to be dragged to his own salvation ... ;-)

The fun thing is, of course, that all that is totally consistent with the actual fairly tale where Hansel spends most of his time sitting in a cage being force-fed gingerbread, while Gretel is out there keeping him alive, and mounting the insurgency and extraction scenario. Why I always liked it as a kid, actually. (Apart from that whole gingerbread house thing, of course.)

And then they both got to kick serious butt, and that was fine with me, too.

I skived off from work early Friday afternoon and went to see it in hopes of shaking off a less than fabulous week. It worked for all the reasons you listed above (especially the 3D IMAX abs). I might go again next week.

I just got back from the movie as well (had the pleasure of making an hour drive in two and a half hours thanks to the lovely winter storm, complete with freezing rain, hail, snow, drifts, lightning wtf, and unplowed roads... but it was totally worth it!!!!)

I never listen to critics because we rarely see eye to eye. If you go in with the expectation of it being a silly fun movie a la Van Helsing and The Brothers Grimm, and don't take it to seriously, then you will love it.... plus there's the added bonus of surprise shirtless Renner :D

So much campy gore, steampunk, leather outfits galore... it was so much fun :) Will definitely be buying this when it comes out ;) It can sit next to Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter ;) oh, almost forgot, the swearing! As someone who speaks like a sailor often it was so nice to hear them swearing (Renner especially *grin*), because I'm sorry, if I was in the situations they were in, I would say those words too ;)

Also, I was very impressed with Arterton too, and I would not want to mess with her character! She was awesomely badass :D

Edited 2013-01-28 02:42 (UTC)

I couldnt read your whole post, I'm sorry but the film is about 11-10 days away from hitting my country :(

But I just love what I did read and bonus points to you for mentioning Starship Troopers - fcking love that film!
Jeremy is coming tomorrow night (Tuesday in Australia) for the H&GWH premiere, my sis and I might go into the city to catch a glimpse of him ;)

I'll be sure to come back after I see the film to read the rest.

I completely with you. I had fun. I'm somebody who enjoys terrible movies, so I had a blast at this movie. The thing that cracked me up the most was that they both get lost in the woods, find their way to the same house and WAIT, what do you know it's their childhood home. It was just so damn convenient.

I wasn't expecting much and I just had fun. I could see why Renner would sign up for the movie after doing the long string of heavy movies. Not to mention, I did actually like the bond that the two of them had. They worked well together. The fighting was fun too. I enjoyed myself and sometimes that's all you need when you go see a movie. Plus I feel like I redeemed myself by seeing Zero Dark Thirty today. So I get the best of both worlds this weekend.

Not every movie has to be a "serious, world changing, Oscar worthy" movie for feck's sake.

I saw it Saturday (not in 3D since 3D trigger migraines for me) and thoroughly enjoyed it. In addition to the bonus of shirtless Renner, we got snarky, funny, adorkable Renner.

The storyline line was well thought out and how they tied everything together worked well. Plus make GA/Gretel a kick-ass female in her own right and not someone that is second to the male lead? Awesome.

COULDN'T AGREE MORE! In this film, GRETEL was the kickass! I mean, sure, Hansel was fucking awesome, too. But between the two of them?! If this were Disney, Hansel would be Rapunzel and Gretel would be ... err, not Flynn, that would be weird. But you get what I'm trying to say, right?

Anyway - AGREED! :D

I seriously do not know what some peoples problems are with the film. No one ever said they were aiming to rewrite the history of how to movie. This film never pretended to be anything other than it actually ended up being - a fun, steam-punky, gory affair with kickass action.

That's exactly what I wanted, and it's what I got and more. Because both main characters were actually more than you might have needed. They could have been just 2D and it would have been fine. But they were 3D. Seriously, the amounts of time I went into squee mode because of socially-awkward-Hansel?! Running away with a Pumpkin? IN A TREE?!

Screw every bloody critic. It was FUN and sometimes that is exactly what you want and need.

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Girl's Afternoon At The Movies

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