be_compromised | Girl's Afternoon At The Movies

So two of my girlfriends and I went to the movies this afternoon. We were supposed to go tonight but, feeding the kids and all that ... Anyway. Off we headed, without said children (the thing is rated "R" for a reason) to the IMAX 3D Silver City to see Hansel and Gretel, Witchhunters. (Of course, the reviews sucked, and of course, the critics are wrinking their noses. But I noticed the Rotten Tomatoes score actually keeps climbing, and me and my friends would watch a two-hour slide of Jeremy Renner, sooo ...

What's not to love?

And whaddya know? Yes, certain reviewers -- who obviously have no sense of humour -- tittered about the anachronisms. Hello? Fairy Tale? Exactly whose time line are we talking about here? We had a grand ol' time. Expected campy gore, got campy gore. Witch bits flying at us in 3D! Things blowing up! Evil people getting smooshed in bad ways! IMHO, we are looking at a future Midnight Classic. (They scoffed at Starship Troopers, too, didn't they? Now look where it is, in the pantheon of A-grade B-movies!)

What I didn't expect -- and the moment when I whispered to Kathy that I'd just gotten my price of admission's worth -- is this.

The whole thing can best be summed up by the line "Revenge won't bring back our parents. But it sure as hell feels good."

So -- yeah.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I saw the movie this Saturday om 3D too and frankly I didn´t pay to much attention to the storyline because HELLO! Renner on the big screen.

That said I was realy mad that the blonde/red girl showed her behind and Jeremy didn´t? So it´s cool for women to show naked but not men? Come on Renner!!! We already know how your lovely but looks like. But than again that is an American movie...

I thought really odd that he sleeped on the floor without anything under him.

There are other oddities but beside that I'll be buying the DVD because it's good entertainment and Renner is gorgeous on it. I love his voice and would hear him speaking prophanaties and I would still orgasm.

Was it Bruce Willis who once cried gender bias, because in American cinema, full frontal female nudity gets an R rating, but full frontal male nudity gets an X rating.

I agree, that is BIASED.

Yes, and the butt inequality in this instance is something BOTH of my friends commented on. But then again -- we got to see HIS chest (yay for 3D IMAX abs and pecs), but not hers.

But yes, generally, you can tell that both the folks making the movies and the censors who judge them tend to be male, with corresponding biases.

If this movie were British we would have full frontal Renner nudity. Millions of women would die all over the world... LOL

And that is why I love to hund down old movies of Danielo Craig, lots of full frontal, behind and all angles in all his naked glory. And oh boy, that man has one fine ass.

You have to agree though - sleepy!Hansel being all adorkable and rolling under the bed?! I might have melted ...

Oh yeah, that was awesome too. And rolling under the bed? Really? I guess sometimes the nightmares come back and under any bed is really good place to be.

I also loved the way he get all week because of his sugar sickness. gojng to hell because of that for sure, but ... DAMN. week in the knee Renner just play all my buttons.

Yes, yes yes and again - YES! *laughs* he was so flipping adorable ... just in general - he was SO the princess of this particular story - WHERE WAS HIS TIARA?!

Yeah -- really liked the scene with The Girl, too. Man has to be dragged to his own salvation ... ;-)

The fun thing is, of course, that all that is totally consistent with the actual fairly tale where Hansel spends most of his time sitting in a cage being force-fed gingerbread, while Gretel is out there keeping him alive, and mounting the insurgency and extraction scenario. Why I always liked it as a kid, actually. (Apart from that whole gingerbread house thing, of course.)

And then they both got to kick serious butt, and that was fine with me, too.

Girl's Afternoon At The Movies

Spoilers ahead.

Re: Spoilers ahead.

Re: Spoilers ahead.

Re: Spoilers ahead.

Re: Spoilers ahead.

Re: Spoilers ahead.

Re: Spoilers ahead.

Re: Spoilers ahead.