Title: Memories of the Past
Fandom: Marvel, The Avengers, Black Widow
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Natasha Romanova
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 733
Warnings: Death




Natasha always loved the winter. There was something in the bitter chill of the air and the way the wind rattled through the trees that reminded her of home. It was stark and bracing but there was something comforting in the way that the cold would wrap around her body like an old friend. Home was always a mixed thing, something inconstant for her, so she learned to latch on to the non-material things as reminders. They could not be destroyed like everything else was.

She strode along the side of the road in her fur-lined coat and smiled softly to herself. She remembered being in a home with the other girls in the program. The program was brutal, but the other girls were all in the same boat as her. They would sit there and whisper to each other late at night after the soldiers had gone to sleep. The nights and training were cold, but the company made it better. It was never anything specific they talked about, but it was enough to know that there was someone there who was just as scared and lost as she was. Just a group of girls with fractured pasts, even at that young of an age, trying to find a place for herself.

There was Agnieszka who slept in the bed next to Natasha's that she remembered the right now. Aggie had black hair that was cut very short and she had very long legs. Though she was 4 years older than Natasha she felt more like a mother to her. Natasha couldn't remember her ever getting angry or bitter over the fact that they were taken to serve their country at a young age, she thought it was an honor to be chosen. The one thing that would always stick out in Natasha’s memories would be the broad smile and very white teeth Aggie had.

Aggie was always the fastest there was. Natasha could see it now. The kids would all line up in a row and soldiers who directed the races would raise their right arm. They would count to three and once their arm dropped everyone would take off running like madmen.

Running, running. Natasha could hear dogs barking angrily behind her. Her breath came out in ragged gasps yet still Natasha ran. She knew she couldn't keep up this pace for very much longer, her legs felt like they were on fire, but she still wanted to run. She couldn't go back to the facility, not this time.

No. Those were not the memories she wanted to visit. Natasha forced the sounds of the dogs away. She tried to focus on the crunch of the snow beneath her feet.

Aggie loved the snow. She would watch the world outside get covered with it every time. Natasha never understood that. Snow happened all the time, why was it so special? Aggie turned her head to Natasha and said sweetly, "Snow is what the world looks like when it is perfect, Tasha. All the grime and hardships are covered up in a sheet of white. Everything just sits there, glittering and untouched by everyone." She smiled then too, but even at the age of seven Natasha knew it was a very sad smile.

"What's wrong?" Natasha asked.

Aggie smiled and Natasha could definitely see tear in her eyes, shining in the light reflected off the snow. "Nothing is wrong, Tasha." She hugged Natasha and kissed her forehead.

Red. The snow was all red. The blood was spreading outwards, poisoning and tainting everything it touched. Aggie was face down in the snow. The snow would never be perfect again. It didn't look perfect any more, it looked like it was torn up in great black and red gouges. Natasha wanted to go her, but she knew she couldn't. Then she might end up the same way. She had to keep a straight face even though she could feel a breaking distantly in her heart. Something in the back of her mind tried screaming in vain against the actions of her body. A voice came on the loud speaker, "Congratulations Black Widow, you passed."

Natasha shivered, telling herself it was the cold. As the wind ripped through her clothing she could feel the chill in her bones. Suddenly she didn't want to be outside any more, she longed for a fire and company.