"The things I do for you," Natasha says and, when Clint groans into the pillow he's clutching and pushes his naked hips up to meet her, adds "hold still."

"I love you and appreciate you and ohmygod, ow, ow, ouch...!" he moans, embarrassment finally giving way to relief.

"There you go," Natasha says, holding tweezers and splinter aloft victoriously, "pretty sure this means we're officially best friends now - just please: don't go sliding down any more wooden bannisters!"