There are times he can feel her hand in his, her smaller fingers fitting between his like they were two pieces of a whole. In those moments, he closes his eyes and swears he can smell her scent, that she's just over his shoulder, watching his six and making sure he drinks more water because someone has to take care of you since you won't do it yourself, old man.

He looks for her in all the new recruits but knows he'll never find her, wouldn't want to find her, because he's had his run of luck and only now does he realize how his life started in Budapest and ended on that cliff.