30 October 2012 @ 06:36 pm
FIC: Shot in the Dark  
So... this is what I've been working on since this 'ship first grabbed my heart and wouldn't let go. Well, part of it, at least. And I absolutely could not have written it without all of y'all - all the countless conversations and fics and prompts and ideas have helped shaped my ideas about Clint and Natasha's backstory: where they may have come from, and how they got to where they are now. And the community here has kept me interested and inspired, and made this fandom so much fun. So, this is for everyone here in this comm. Thank you so much for all being so amazingly awesome!

Title: Shot in the Dark
Author/Artist: Koren M. ([livejournal.com profile] cybermathwitch)
Disclaimer: Not mine. If they were, there'd already be a Black Widow/Hawkeye movie.
Pairing: Pre- Clint/Natasha (UST)
Rating: R (mostly for violent themes and language)
Warnings: language and some violence
Spoilers: None
Type: Completed
Word Count: 14,029

Summary: In her life there comes a moment. A moment when survival is no longer enough. A moment to say "I choose to live. A moment that changes everything.

Author's Notes: I cannot thank all my cheerleaders and beta readers enough for this. This exists because of y'all, and your input. In particular (and I hope to god that I don't forget anyone!): [livejournal.com profile] kadollan, [livejournal.com profile] anuna_81, SidheRa and [livejournal.com profile] lar_laughs.

I had all these rambly thoughts about how this came about, but they've all left my brain. This is my headcanon, and is the cornerstone of a much larger story (I hope). This stuff doesn't happen in a vacuum though, and I'm really, really blessed to have an awesome community of people at [livejournal.com profile] be_compromised who have absolutely helped me shape this story. So everyone at the comm? This is for you. :D

I always work with music, and that's no exception here. I strongly suggest/urge/beg of you to go listen to this: Shake it Out ~ Florence + the Machine - this song, the original album version in particular, is very much Natasha's voice for me, at this point in her life. It's her redemption song, because this is her redemption story. It's the voice of someone who wants a life she can truly live, instead of a shadow life and a shadow self.

Many, many thanks to my awesome artist, [livejournal.com profile] nessataleweaver for the amazing mix (found here.)


Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
 
 
( Post a new comment )
(Anonymous) on October 31st, 2012 06:35 am (UTC)
You are an incredible writer. I have never commented on fanfiction before - and I'm only doing it now because I can do so anonymously and continue lurking like a champ - but I just really needed to thank you for sharing this. I know how it feels to put your work out there, and you deserve to know that it's extraordinary. This isn't about the characters - though you've captured them beautifully - this is about your prose, your voice in your writing. Keep it up. You have great things to say, and I sincerely hope you know how talented you are.
[identity profile] cybermathwitch.livejournal.com on November 1st, 2012 11:45 am (UTC)
OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH.

That's just... wow, what an amazing comment! ::twirls you::

I think I'm going to go have a moment now... ;)
[identity profile] alphaflyer.livejournal.com on November 2nd, 2012 12:31 pm (UTC)
So glad I found this -- downloaded it from AO3 to read on the plane (they're about to call boarding). Thanks for making the next few hours pass a wee bit faster! :-)

[identity profile] cybermathwitch.livejournal.com on November 2nd, 2012 01:58 pm (UTC)
Excellent! I really hope you enjoy it - and have a good, safe trip! :D
[identity profile] alphaflyer.livejournal.com on November 2nd, 2012 03:51 pm (UTC)
So. I've now read it, on the second leg of my journey.

First comment: Wonderful detail, tautly written, exciting, stark and utterly unfluffy. Just the way I like it. Excellent characterization; I could hear particularly Clint, Coulson and Fury's voices in my head. Fabulous work -- congratulations.

Second comment, to content: "Do I think there are innocent people out there who should be protected and kept the fuck out of it? Hell yes. ... When it comes down to it, I decide whether or not to take the shot."

Well. Your Clint and my Clint (in "In the Service", Chapter 3 finished probably this weekend since I have another 9 hours of plane time ahead of me ...) have a lot in common ... That's exactly how I see the man who repeatedly alerts his colleagues to trapped civilians during the Battle for Manhattan, who helps kids out of a bus in mid-fight.

For me, the protection of civilians is the very "code", the "something that makes up for the horrors," that Loki mocks when Natasha comes to him. It's a code I've spent much of my professional life reinforcing, and one that every soldier I have had the privilege to meet (from three-stars on down) holds to in a job that may require them to kill for a living. It's not very often addressed in movies where mayhem is the baseline, and probably the reasons The Avengers reached me the way it did.

Thank you for including this, one of my pet themes, in your story.


[identity profile] cybermathwitch.livejournal.com on November 17th, 2012 11:28 pm (UTC)
Hi! Thank you for the lovely comment! (I'm so, so sorry it's taken me so long to get to replies!)

First comment: Wonderful detail, tautly written, exciting, stark and utterly unfluffy. Just the way I like it. Excellent characterization; I could hear particularly Clint, Coulson and Fury's voices in my head. Fabulous work -- congratulations.

Wow, thank you, so much! :D I'm glad you like it!


That's exactly how I see the man who repeatedly alerts his colleagues to trapped civilians during the Battle for Manhattan, who helps kids out of a bus in mid-fight.

YES! THIS. My Clint really struggles (prior to joining SHIELD) with where he falls on the spectrum of good person to cold-blooded killer and that's a huge piece of how he gets peace on the issue.

Thank you for including this, one of my pet themes, in your story.

You're very welcome! :D
[identity profile] flawed-design.livejournal.com on November 13th, 2012 03:29 am (UTC)
Perfection.

Headcanon accepted.
[identity profile] cybermathwitch.livejournal.com on November 17th, 2012 11:29 pm (UTC)
Eeeeee! Thank you! :D
[identity profile] flawed-design.livejournal.com on November 19th, 2012 07:16 am (UTC)
brava :)

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