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Title: Bang Your Head (Mental Health) (4/4)
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
oresteia
A Gift For:kl_shipper1
Rating: PG
Warnings: Some hint of violence and psychological torture and unwanted medical procedures but it's mostly dramatic angst mixed with happy endings
Pairings: Clint/Natasha, Tony/Pepper, Jane/Thor, Team
Summary/Prompt Used:
4) Who are they, besides their job, besides the assassins they're trained to be? Show me who Clint and Natasha really are and what they do when they're not on a mission-- when they have some time to decompress and be themselves. Basically, Agent Barton and Agent Romanoff vs. Clint and Natasha.
Things I like: Banter, happy endings, deaf!Clint, team!shawarma, team antics, UST and/or RST, (romance with) reasonable amounts of angst. AUs. Movieverse. Clint showing off his musical abilities (and Natasha having them too).
I don't want to receive: Dub-con/non-con. Torture. Character death. Unhappy endings. Lots of smut. Non-C/N.
Authors Notes:
The story is kind of told in an disjointed format. It’s almost built like Memento or Pulp Fiction. The beginning gives the ending away to some extent. There’s more after the beginning but it tells it all final conclusion (that is left open ended slightly). Time jumps quickly but the story is written linear, so that none of the time jumps are so misplace that they don’t make sense. Also, this story involves Phil Coulson as a general important character. The heart of it is about Clint and Natasha but really it’s him as their third (not romantically in the least, brotherly, friendly).
(August 2012)
This wasn't exactly how he pictured waking up. Of course, it's not like he pictured that he would wake up.
The last thing Phil Coulson remembered was a bright blue. The last thing Phil Coulson remembered was Nick Fury standing above him.
Phil Coulson woke up in a white sterile room-- obviously on a base somewhere (no hospital was that sterile EVER) with no one there. He woke up wondering where he was and why wasn't he dead.
Logically there was no way that he should have survived that. None whatsoever. Nothing hurt either. It was the strangest thing. He would have blamed it on drugs if he felt as if he were floating.
Phil did not feel like he was floating.
No felt-- groggy but absolutely fine.
The fine was the bit that scared him shitless.
No one should feel fine after getting stabbing with some alien weapon that probably was incurable to the human race. So why the hell was he okay, breathing, and not be experimented on.
Or had already been?
Coulson heard the door open-- it wasn't Director Fury who walked through the door.
----
(July 2013)
“Why am I still alive?” Clint asked the unknown guard treating his wounds.
By now, Clint should be dead. There was no way he could survive so much repeated experiments (projects that honestly were torture, because really were any of them realistic goals?). Endless. Physical and Mental. In fact, Clint had even caved in his own way.
He should be dead.
“Are you alive?” the pseudo nurse asked him wiping some blood off his chest from a procedure that left him surgically changed, “Perhaps you were brought back.”
Clint felt his eyes rolling in the back of his head, “I gave him everything! WHY AM I NOT DEAD?”
The nurse put the bloodied cloth in a waste basket.
“Because there's no valuable information to be had. This is just testing you. Making you better, stronger…”
No, it was killing him.
----
(August 2013)
Clint Barton was more durable than Reynolds had assumed. Barton had never shown at least from what he saw to be very tolerant of pain or injuries.
Barton was a frequent guest of the medical wing and often was considered the biggest whiner. He wasn't smart nor the most physically impressive agent. The experiments should have killed him.
Barton had been virtually killed five times in the last two months and somehow still recovered. Reynolds was morbidly curious of the results. Another test would be warranted.
It was a shame however that he seemed to be incapable or too stupid to actually tell him where the other Avengers were. Where Iron Man was, where that giant green thing was. They would make fabulous experiments.
Iron Man had the technology he needed for his new master. And that giant rage monster? Well that was a deal he made with General Ross to get to Phil Coulson.
He had been warned to leave Barton be but one thing Reynolds would never forget was getting even with the guy that got him fired.
Fury would pay eventually, after he blew up the northern hemisphere. Phil Coulson would be experimental monkey until he finally got his hands on the tesseract than he would use Iron Man as his test dummy.
The giant would be killed and he would save the world. Free everyone from these so called heroes. Really all there were narcissists with alien technology, psychopathic monsters and hopeless pathetic patriots washed up and wishing for one last glorious battle.
Yes, Michael would show them all that he wasn't the crazy one. He would right the wrongs of this sick world and free everyone from SHIELD and their train wreck.
----
(June 2013- The dream world)
“I'm dreaming, right?” Clint asked looking over the water.
Natasha tapped her right hand over their intertwined ones gently, “Hallucinating is more likely.”
“Shame, weather's perfect out there,” Clint added ruefully looking over the blue sea.
“You're not dead,” she whispered almost as if she was thankful but timid like she asking to make sure.
“I'm not, I promise. I know--,” he replied, “But I- I want to you know, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I grieved the wrong way.”
“Didn't know there was a wrong way to grieve,” Natasha muttered.
Clint shrugged looking above, it was turning dark. Funny the position of the sun had changed twelve hours in a matter of seconds. Natasha stopped holding his hand.
“Coulson was my best friend but he wasn't you. He was never anywhere close to you. You have always been my number one priority in this life,” Clint swore.
Natasha sighed, “I know. I just wanted to fix you. Fix us. Maybe I went about it the wrong way.”
Clint let out a bitter laugh, he was the one that screwed them up. Funny how even in his delusions Natasha tried to blame her lack of feeling on the issue when it was never her fault, “What if I don't survive this?”
“You have to.”
Clint felt tears prickling against his eyes, “Why what's waiting for me? You're not real. This isn't real. It's a dream at best, a hallucination at worst.”
Natasha gripped his hands again, this time with strength behind it. Purpose.
“Because I'm right here waiting for you to come home. And I'm not alone. There are others waiting for you, Clint. Tony, Bruce, Steve, Thor-- we're all waiting for you,” she all but teared up saying.
“Now I know I'm dreaming,” he said with a teary eyed laugh.
“Why?”
“Because when I'm awake, you never cry.”
Natasha woke up in a cold sweat. The clock read 3:06am-- she tried not to think about how that was the exact time she first found Clint shot on the floor in an op a few years ago in Argentina.
The feeling of dread wouldn't leave her the rest of the evening.
----
(August 2013)
“Do you remember the face of the first person you ever killed?” Natasha asked looking over at Steve who was sitting there calmly on Stark's private plane.
“No,” he replied after a second, “Sometimes, I wish did though. Why do you ask?”
“I do-- I see him in my sleep more often than not. More frequently after stressful missions,” Natasha told him with an odd look on her face.
“Okay….”
“After the invasion, I saw him every night for a week,” Natasha began, “Then my dreamed changed.”
“Not a dream-- a nightmare probably,” Steve countered.
“Dreams-- Nightmares all the same deep down,” she said off handed, “After that, all I saw was Clint.”
“Good dreams?” he asked gently.
“About half the time. The other half were all of him dying,” she explained, “The night he left it was of him telling me that he was going to die or probably would not survive whatever mission he was on. I begged him to come back to us.”
Steve looked at her oddly in return, what was she saying? He found himself siting straighter, quicker to strike if need be, hands extending to possible hold or maybe even shake her should the need arise. To say this was alarming was an understatement.
“Did you predict this in your sleep that Clint would go missing?”
Natasha looked up at him haunted, “I don't know how Captain but I think I did.”
(August 2013- The dream world)
Ten finger and ten toes- Phillip Barton was a perfect human being. Wrapped in a blue blanket sucking on air. Waiting for his mothers attention. Natasha half asleep next to him. Clint holding Phil like it was a miracle he was still there in his arms.
“Is this what you dream of?” she asked him after a minute.
Clint looked back at her, they were no longer in bed with a child but instead back over the sea.
“Nah, I mean at times I think about it. It's just my sentimentality getting in the way of what's logical. Kids are great but god would we be awful parents,” he confessed looking back at her hand.
She snorted, “True but sometimes I wish we could try.”
Clint shrugged, “Don't need one to be happy.”
Natasha looked down at the diamond ring on her finger. The one Clint never gave her-- the one she never asked for. She hinted at it or maybe taunted him as he liked to accuse her of. But really it was the deepest desire she had to own one. Her own shiny rock.
“I know most of our dreams are bad. At times, they aren't. I dream of a little girl with you wrapped around her finger. I dream of a boy that looks just like you,” she confessed, “I dream of our wedding with family and friends.”
“Must be nice,” he replied, “I only dream you, me, and a beach.”
“This isn't real, right?” she whispered slightly horrified.
Clint looked back at her and noticed that Natasha had gone pale, her eyes looked glossy almost fearful. Her gaze staring at him in wonder.
Natasha never looked like that when he was awake.
“No, it's not.”
“Are you dead?”
“No but I've been experimented on and on for two months straight,” he confessed like it was a dirty secret. That dream Natasha somehow had no idea what they did for a living, like she had never experienced that level of pain before. It was a lie of course but in his head, everything was normal. Their job, their lives even if they talked about real issues.
It was the only thing he had to separate fact from fiction from at this point.
“Clint?” she whispered, “I don't think we're dreaming…”
Clint shot awake in his prison cell. What the fuck was happening to him?
-----
(August 2013- The trip)
“Natasha?” Bruce asked leaning up when he saw her shocked expression waking up.
She looked over at him, and the others-- primarily Steve caught her attention.
“Did you have the dream again?”
“Not exactly,” she said slowly.
“Dream?” Bruce asked.
“I think we talked. He's been held hostage. He was used as Reynolds play toy but he appears to be less than shaken up by it,” Natasha answered slowly.
Tony was so glad JARVIS flew planes because if anyone had been controlling this thing, they would be probably diving down to the ocean right about now.
“Are you claiming Romanov that you actually had a discussion with Barton while sleeping…”
“That's exactly what I'm telling you happened.”
Thor however didn't seem even the least bothered by this news, “In Asgard lovers or close family members-- siblings sometimes connect to each other in their most vulnerable times. Perhaps this works for you now as well.”
The others turned to him.
“Loki,” he said after a minute.
“He was in Clint's and Dr. Selvig's head only,” Natasha countered.
“Yes but you are connected to the Hawk and so if Loki left that connection behind,” Thor pointed out.
The others sat there dumb founded. Had Loki really left Clint the ability to talk to Natasha in their sleep?
There might be an easier way to pull off the rescue mission if it were true.
“Well assuming it is true, I think that would be rather dangerous. Natasha, you should try some sleeping pills or maybe not sleeping until we find Clint,” Steve suggested worried.
He could only imagine how far this “gift” of Loki's might extend. What if she could she start feeling his nightmares or getting hurt in dreams because Clint was? What did Thor know beyond the existence of said bond? Was it even real? Maybe he was wrong entirely. Maybe this some other magical disaster waiting in the wings.
Tony however seemed to think the exact opposite and Natasha apparently agreed. Tony caught her eye and noticed they lined up perfectly, “Take a nap Romanov see if Bird Boy noticed maybe where he was taken. He seemed to be pretty smart about that kind of thing.”
-----
(May 2012)
Thor had taken Loki away. Loki was gagged when he first left Misgard but the moment they arrived home he was freed. Upon arrival into the home of their father's Loki erupted into hysterical laughter.
“Do you think it over, brother? Do you think this is last they've heard of me? Someday when you do figure out a return path to that pathetic little planet let me know how Agents Barton and Romanov are doing, won't you?” Loki said in-between cackles.
Their father looked down at his son with disgust. Thor could only look troubled. What had Loki done?
(August 2013)
Perhaps, he should tell her the whole story. Thor was worried however that it might upset the Widow to give her such details. Loki had clearly left a piece of himself behind intentionally. For what purposes Thor had little to no idea but whatever the reason it had changed Barton.
Quite possibly forever. Didn't she deserve that truth? Shouldn't she know that this would be unfixable? Whatever he did.
Thor wished he could ask Loki but it was impossible for his brother was now dead. Unreachable in the walls of their gods experiencing perhaps a new life for himself happy within the halls filled with wine and good cheer. Something Loki never had in this life.
“Thor, what aren't you saying?” Natasha asked him, he should have expected it. He found the Widow was very intelligent and also extremely perspective like his brother had been.
“If Loki has changed him, he might not be able to fixed. My brother is dead and only he could undo anything spell or power exchange he may have left behind instead the Hawk's mind,” Thor confessed.
“Oh fuck,” Tony swore.
“Wait, we're assuming whatever he did was necessarily evil,” Steve said holding up his hand in protest.
“It's Loki, are you kidding me?” Tony interjected.
“My brother wasn't always so twisted,” Thor insisted.
“Guys! Guys! We don't know anything for sure yet. Why panic prematurely?” Bruce offered as a peace keeper.
Natasha slammed her fist on her chair making everyone jump and turn toward her, “Right now, I don't care. If I can talk to Clint. I'll take whatever sick or maybe even helpful gift that Loki left behind. After this is over, I'll worry about the rest.”
----
(August 2013- where the beginning meets)
“Barton? Barton? CLINT!”
Clint forced himself awake he was covered in blood and sweat in a jail cell that smelt like piss and gunpowder residue. Part of him thought he must be seeing things but the other part, the part that wanted to believe he was still alive and somewhat well knew otherwise.
It didn't stop him from saying his anyway, “Coulson?”
Clint looked up, he could barely hear by now. Everything was fuzzy or completely silent. Coulson was there standing in front of him.
Alive.
Why was he alive?
“What's going on?”
Coulson started to unlock his bonds, “I got better, punched Reynolds out.”
“He's working with someone. This is way too organized for just him,” Clint pointed out.
He had narrow minded focus, this guy. His main focus was science, deadly science but anything else seemed to be either un-important or things that went beyond his intellectual realm.
“We'll talk after we figure out how to get out of here,” Coulson said looking down at Clint's legs just to make sure, “What did they do to you?”
“A better question is what didn't they do?,” Clint muttered.
“How bad?”
“Not bad enough that I can't escape with you.”
Phil looked up to the sky, “There's a plane approaching…”
Clint looked up. He had that feeling again, one that maybe his dreams weren't dreams after all…
“Natasha, she and the team are waiting for us. They're on the plane.”
----
(In Gaza, same day, same time)
“Clint said they were in secluded spot probably near the airport but not too close,” Natasha informed them, “He said he could make out the vibrations and the low sound of air flights above them.”
“And if he wasn't deaf that means they would probably be in full hearing range,” Bruce reasoned.
“Correct.”
“What should we look for exactly? I haven't exactly had experience breaking and enter dressed as Captain America before,” Steve mentioned.
“What about the HDYRA base in 1944?” Tony asked cheekily
Steve coughed, “I wasn't counting that. It was war, prisons were a dime a dozen in Germany.”
Natasha looked at a tourist map she grabbed on the hike from the city, “Has to be bigger than a warehouse but not big enough to alarm the residents. So about the size of a mosque.”
Tony stared at her, “Mosque's have standard sizes?”
Natsasha rolled her eyes.
“What is this mosque you speak of?” Thor inquired.
“Uh don't worry about it big guy. It's just one of those weird religious things that are better left unexplained.”
Bruce shot Tony a dark look, “Complicated but basically we're looking for something probably old looked unused or at the very least worn out or near break down. Large but not square because then it might resemble a prison too much which would cause negative attention from the locals.”
“This is Gaza, do you really think a prison would be out of place?” Tony asked sarcastically.
“This is why middle easterners hate Americans,” Natasha muttered.
“Incidentally they also hate each other. Or at least Israel.”
“What do you think Reynolds did to him?” Steve asked.
“I'd rather not,” Natasha retorted looking down at the map of the city.
They were now running through the city, people moving out of the way, shouting at them in Arabic based languages. Enemies and allies- impossible to tell one from the next.
They just ran.
----
“I've been dreaming of you for months,” Clint remarked, “What happened?”
Phil was carrying Clint by his left leg as they tried to make their way to a door.
“I woke up in our medical base in Iceland. I thought I might be dead. They transferred me to Germany when I was a little more healthy. I woke up again in Reynolds hand. For months he seemed to be testing my mind. Experimenting with it. Loki had to done something when he stabbed me that Reynolds somehow knew about because that seemed to be the focus on his little pain games.”
Clint blinked, “Wait were both hit with Loki's staff… I've been dreaming you and Natasha. I talked to you and her…”
Phil looked sharply at him in surprise, “You think Loki accidentally gave us the powers that Reynolds always wanted to create?!”
“Make sense wouldn't it?”
--
That was right when their luck and the teams luck ran out. Reynolds army for hire came in guns blazing. Clint was no shape to carry a weapon.
Coulson only had a hand gun he took from the guard.
Reynolds was missing.
The team was over powered and out gunned until Bruce hulked out however.
“We need…”
“Cap, I got this…”
Bruce felt his body rip apart, anger filling him, and then mindlessly he attacked.
Tony started to blast the bad guys with his built in guns. Steve had taken to punching his way through to the entrance. Natasha had been trying to pick the lock to the front steel door.
“CLINT! COULSON!”
Thor ran up carrying his hammer, Steve returned to help Iron Man and the Hulk.
“Allow me”
Natasha ducked as his hammer threw lightning to the door, sparks flew and both jumped out of the way when the door started to dent.
Thor repeated the actions again and again.
“That wouldn't have worked with actual electricity,” Natasha noted with amusement, Thor sometimes had the best power.
“As long as we free our fellow warriors none of it matters Warrior Queen.”
Phil came charging through when he noticed the door was about to fall, half carrying Clint with tons of men behind them with guns.
“TASHA, DUCK!” he shouted once they were free, gunfire went off.
Natasha grabbed Clint's arm.
“Did we really met up in my dreams?”
Clint looked at her, “Honestly, I think they were mine.”
Thor looked between them, “Now warriors might not be the time to understood what has transpired.”
The Hulk's roar was coming closer.
'Let the big guy handle this?' he signed to her.
Natasha nodded and pulled Coulson and Thor to safety.
----
(Hours later)
Doctor Reynolds had once tried to create a drug that would allow him a chance to control people's minds via their sleep cycle. To get inside their head while they slept until he could take over their thought process and their dreams entirely.
Loki had used his magic to create a staff that would allow him to control people through stabbing them in the heart. It would enter their brains and take away their ability to ignore orders (but not take away their spirit or moral inclinations).
When Loki had stabbed Phil Coulson, a subject had been born.
Reynolds had been in New York when Loki was in the city. Loki had taunted Thor.
Eight months later, Phil Coulson was in Reynolds hand projecting his dreams unto Clint. Telling Clint he was in pain and need of help. Projecting old memories to his sleep cycle.
Five months after that Clint began dreaming of Coulson and Natasha probably not of his own free will (and of Coulson's desire for him to feel what Coulson felt).
So when Reynolds got Clint, he already knew what steps he had to take to try the same result. Instead he got a better one. Coulson could only project ideas and memories.
But Barton could visit their dreams, talk to them, and actually control what happened within this realm.
Reynolds knew that because of the experiments on Clint. Clint knew it because he had experienced the medical procedures.
Loki was somehow behind this, why else would Reynolds know how to do this? Where to find Coulson and Barton?
Who else could trick someone into getting the location of a secret base?
“Do you have any proof of this?” Thor demanded.
It was a tall order to assume that Loki not only was alive but in control of this entire situation. How could go so far just to get back at the two men he tried the hardest to destroy? Wouldn't he go further?
“No but sure as fuck does it make sense,” Tony replied.
“He escaped too. He wasn't there,” Steve pointed out.
Thor looked at them, “If you are truly correct then the world is in trouble. My brother is loose with a way to possibly control humanity through their sleep.”
“I know that's what worries me too,” Natasha whispered clutching Clint's hand a little harder.
It was something to worry about in the future but right now, she selfishly was just glad they were going home.
-----
(Epilogue)
(September 2013)
“I didn't fail, I have the serum. I can make us an army,” Reynolds whispered to the god standing before him. He was kneeling holding a vile of orange liquid.
“Well at least you aren't completely useless. You let them escape,” Loki hissed.
“But-But I couldn't take them on! The Avengers…”
Loki scoffed, “You are pathetic and your nearsighted need for revenge almost ruined everything. Luckily for you, Agent Barton really did hold the key. He indirectly saved your life. This time, I'll handle him and the team. You just make my army of slaves.”
--
Coulson was alive. Clint had his best friend back. Natasha had boyfriend back. Well now husband.
Stable… sort of.
Their relationship wasn't instantly fixed with a wedding but they got married right after they landed just like Natasha told Stark they would. Quick justice of the peace ceremony. Cake after, some mexican food, and Stark personally bought her a Tiffany's ring.
Clint and Natasha spent their supposed honeymoon working out their issues with retirement..
And having sex on every surface imaginable.
Barton was now a mind reader… in his sleep and others. Frequently he now invaded people's dreams. Stark's, Banner's, whoever he wanted. Talked. Played games.
Lived various fantasies.
It still weirded him out. Coulson had explained S.H.I.E.L.D. was trying to work on a cure. Clint kind of liked being able to hear his girl's pleasure in his dreams in a way he couldn't in real life.
He liked having control back in his life. But the dreams also served as a warning.
Loki was alive and he was coming for them.
Barton didn't know when, but he could be ready for it.
----
Things changed since Clint got back. Natasha no longer had weekly night outs with friends. Instead they had family nights every Friday. Movies, clubs… skiing… racing expensive cars. They did it all.
Clint and her used sex as a band aid at first, the dreams however made their communication so much better.
Selfishly Natasha liked the accidental ability Loki had given them (and probably was going to destroy them over, but Natasha and the team was ready).
Clint's ability had extended to their dreams too, their sex life was overly active. So much that now that Natasha was pregnant.
She was fucking terrified.
The next step would be to tell Clint and hope they were ready for when Loki and Doctor Reynolds came knocking.
Until then, it was telling him about the plus sign.
Author:
oresteiaA Gift For:
kl_shipper1Rating: PG
Warnings: Some hint of violence and psychological torture and unwanted medical procedures but it's mostly dramatic angst mixed with happy endings
Pairings: Clint/Natasha, Tony/Pepper, Jane/Thor, Team
Summary/Prompt Used:
4) Who are they, besides their job, besides the assassins they're trained to be? Show me who Clint and Natasha really are and what they do when they're not on a mission-- when they have some time to decompress and be themselves. Basically, Agent Barton and Agent Romanoff vs. Clint and Natasha.
Things I like: Banter, happy endings, deaf!Clint, team!shawarma, team antics, UST and/or RST, (romance with) reasonable amounts of angst. AUs. Movieverse. Clint showing off his musical abilities (and Natasha having them too).
I don't want to receive: Dub-con/non-con. Torture. Character death. Unhappy endings. Lots of smut. Non-C/N.
Authors Notes:
The story is kind of told in an disjointed format. It’s almost built like Memento or Pulp Fiction. The beginning gives the ending away to some extent. There’s more after the beginning but it tells it all final conclusion (that is left open ended slightly). Time jumps quickly but the story is written linear, so that none of the time jumps are so misplace that they don’t make sense. Also, this story involves Phil Coulson as a general important character. The heart of it is about Clint and Natasha but really it’s him as their third (not romantically in the least, brotherly, friendly).
(August 2012)
This wasn't exactly how he pictured waking up. Of course, it's not like he pictured that he would wake up.
The last thing Phil Coulson remembered was a bright blue. The last thing Phil Coulson remembered was Nick Fury standing above him.
Phil Coulson woke up in a white sterile room-- obviously on a base somewhere (no hospital was that sterile EVER) with no one there. He woke up wondering where he was and why wasn't he dead.
Logically there was no way that he should have survived that. None whatsoever. Nothing hurt either. It was the strangest thing. He would have blamed it on drugs if he felt as if he were floating.
Phil did not feel like he was floating.
No felt-- groggy but absolutely fine.
The fine was the bit that scared him shitless.
No one should feel fine after getting stabbing with some alien weapon that probably was incurable to the human race. So why the hell was he okay, breathing, and not be experimented on.
Or had already been?
Coulson heard the door open-- it wasn't Director Fury who walked through the door.
----
(July 2013)
“Why am I still alive?” Clint asked the unknown guard treating his wounds.
By now, Clint should be dead. There was no way he could survive so much repeated experiments (projects that honestly were torture, because really were any of them realistic goals?). Endless. Physical and Mental. In fact, Clint had even caved in his own way.
He should be dead.
“Are you alive?” the pseudo nurse asked him wiping some blood off his chest from a procedure that left him surgically changed, “Perhaps you were brought back.”
Clint felt his eyes rolling in the back of his head, “I gave him everything! WHY AM I NOT DEAD?”
The nurse put the bloodied cloth in a waste basket.
“Because there's no valuable information to be had. This is just testing you. Making you better, stronger…”
No, it was killing him.
----
(August 2013)
Clint Barton was more durable than Reynolds had assumed. Barton had never shown at least from what he saw to be very tolerant of pain or injuries.
Barton was a frequent guest of the medical wing and often was considered the biggest whiner. He wasn't smart nor the most physically impressive agent. The experiments should have killed him.
Barton had been virtually killed five times in the last two months and somehow still recovered. Reynolds was morbidly curious of the results. Another test would be warranted.
It was a shame however that he seemed to be incapable or too stupid to actually tell him where the other Avengers were. Where Iron Man was, where that giant green thing was. They would make fabulous experiments.
Iron Man had the technology he needed for his new master. And that giant rage monster? Well that was a deal he made with General Ross to get to Phil Coulson.
He had been warned to leave Barton be but one thing Reynolds would never forget was getting even with the guy that got him fired.
Fury would pay eventually, after he blew up the northern hemisphere. Phil Coulson would be experimental monkey until he finally got his hands on the tesseract than he would use Iron Man as his test dummy.
The giant would be killed and he would save the world. Free everyone from these so called heroes. Really all there were narcissists with alien technology, psychopathic monsters and hopeless pathetic patriots washed up and wishing for one last glorious battle.
Yes, Michael would show them all that he wasn't the crazy one. He would right the wrongs of this sick world and free everyone from SHIELD and their train wreck.
----
(June 2013- The dream world)
“I'm dreaming, right?” Clint asked looking over the water.
Natasha tapped her right hand over their intertwined ones gently, “Hallucinating is more likely.”
“Shame, weather's perfect out there,” Clint added ruefully looking over the blue sea.
“You're not dead,” she whispered almost as if she was thankful but timid like she asking to make sure.
“I'm not, I promise. I know--,” he replied, “But I- I want to you know, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I grieved the wrong way.”
“Didn't know there was a wrong way to grieve,” Natasha muttered.
Clint shrugged looking above, it was turning dark. Funny the position of the sun had changed twelve hours in a matter of seconds. Natasha stopped holding his hand.
“Coulson was my best friend but he wasn't you. He was never anywhere close to you. You have always been my number one priority in this life,” Clint swore.
Natasha sighed, “I know. I just wanted to fix you. Fix us. Maybe I went about it the wrong way.”
Clint let out a bitter laugh, he was the one that screwed them up. Funny how even in his delusions Natasha tried to blame her lack of feeling on the issue when it was never her fault, “What if I don't survive this?”
“You have to.”
Clint felt tears prickling against his eyes, “Why what's waiting for me? You're not real. This isn't real. It's a dream at best, a hallucination at worst.”
Natasha gripped his hands again, this time with strength behind it. Purpose.
“Because I'm right here waiting for you to come home. And I'm not alone. There are others waiting for you, Clint. Tony, Bruce, Steve, Thor-- we're all waiting for you,” she all but teared up saying.
“Now I know I'm dreaming,” he said with a teary eyed laugh.
“Why?”
“Because when I'm awake, you never cry.”
Natasha woke up in a cold sweat. The clock read 3:06am-- she tried not to think about how that was the exact time she first found Clint shot on the floor in an op a few years ago in Argentina.
The feeling of dread wouldn't leave her the rest of the evening.
----
(August 2013)
“Do you remember the face of the first person you ever killed?” Natasha asked looking over at Steve who was sitting there calmly on Stark's private plane.
“No,” he replied after a second, “Sometimes, I wish did though. Why do you ask?”
“I do-- I see him in my sleep more often than not. More frequently after stressful missions,” Natasha told him with an odd look on her face.
“Okay….”
“After the invasion, I saw him every night for a week,” Natasha began, “Then my dreamed changed.”
“Not a dream-- a nightmare probably,” Steve countered.
“Dreams-- Nightmares all the same deep down,” she said off handed, “After that, all I saw was Clint.”
“Good dreams?” he asked gently.
“About half the time. The other half were all of him dying,” she explained, “The night he left it was of him telling me that he was going to die or probably would not survive whatever mission he was on. I begged him to come back to us.”
Steve looked at her oddly in return, what was she saying? He found himself siting straighter, quicker to strike if need be, hands extending to possible hold or maybe even shake her should the need arise. To say this was alarming was an understatement.
“Did you predict this in your sleep that Clint would go missing?”
Natasha looked up at him haunted, “I don't know how Captain but I think I did.”
(August 2013- The dream world)
Ten finger and ten toes- Phillip Barton was a perfect human being. Wrapped in a blue blanket sucking on air. Waiting for his mothers attention. Natasha half asleep next to him. Clint holding Phil like it was a miracle he was still there in his arms.
“Is this what you dream of?” she asked him after a minute.
Clint looked back at her, they were no longer in bed with a child but instead back over the sea.
“Nah, I mean at times I think about it. It's just my sentimentality getting in the way of what's logical. Kids are great but god would we be awful parents,” he confessed looking back at her hand.
She snorted, “True but sometimes I wish we could try.”
Clint shrugged, “Don't need one to be happy.”
Natasha looked down at the diamond ring on her finger. The one Clint never gave her-- the one she never asked for. She hinted at it or maybe taunted him as he liked to accuse her of. But really it was the deepest desire she had to own one. Her own shiny rock.
“I know most of our dreams are bad. At times, they aren't. I dream of a little girl with you wrapped around her finger. I dream of a boy that looks just like you,” she confessed, “I dream of our wedding with family and friends.”
“Must be nice,” he replied, “I only dream you, me, and a beach.”
“This isn't real, right?” she whispered slightly horrified.
Clint looked back at her and noticed that Natasha had gone pale, her eyes looked glossy almost fearful. Her gaze staring at him in wonder.
Natasha never looked like that when he was awake.
“No, it's not.”
“Are you dead?”
“No but I've been experimented on and on for two months straight,” he confessed like it was a dirty secret. That dream Natasha somehow had no idea what they did for a living, like she had never experienced that level of pain before. It was a lie of course but in his head, everything was normal. Their job, their lives even if they talked about real issues.
It was the only thing he had to separate fact from fiction from at this point.
“Clint?” she whispered, “I don't think we're dreaming…”
Clint shot awake in his prison cell. What the fuck was happening to him?
-----
(August 2013- The trip)
“Natasha?” Bruce asked leaning up when he saw her shocked expression waking up.
She looked over at him, and the others-- primarily Steve caught her attention.
“Did you have the dream again?”
“Not exactly,” she said slowly.
“Dream?” Bruce asked.
“I think we talked. He's been held hostage. He was used as Reynolds play toy but he appears to be less than shaken up by it,” Natasha answered slowly.
Tony was so glad JARVIS flew planes because if anyone had been controlling this thing, they would be probably diving down to the ocean right about now.
“Are you claiming Romanov that you actually had a discussion with Barton while sleeping…”
“That's exactly what I'm telling you happened.”
Thor however didn't seem even the least bothered by this news, “In Asgard lovers or close family members-- siblings sometimes connect to each other in their most vulnerable times. Perhaps this works for you now as well.”
The others turned to him.
“Loki,” he said after a minute.
“He was in Clint's and Dr. Selvig's head only,” Natasha countered.
“Yes but you are connected to the Hawk and so if Loki left that connection behind,” Thor pointed out.
The others sat there dumb founded. Had Loki really left Clint the ability to talk to Natasha in their sleep?
There might be an easier way to pull off the rescue mission if it were true.
“Well assuming it is true, I think that would be rather dangerous. Natasha, you should try some sleeping pills or maybe not sleeping until we find Clint,” Steve suggested worried.
He could only imagine how far this “gift” of Loki's might extend. What if she could she start feeling his nightmares or getting hurt in dreams because Clint was? What did Thor know beyond the existence of said bond? Was it even real? Maybe he was wrong entirely. Maybe this some other magical disaster waiting in the wings.
Tony however seemed to think the exact opposite and Natasha apparently agreed. Tony caught her eye and noticed they lined up perfectly, “Take a nap Romanov see if Bird Boy noticed maybe where he was taken. He seemed to be pretty smart about that kind of thing.”
-----
(May 2012)
Thor had taken Loki away. Loki was gagged when he first left Misgard but the moment they arrived home he was freed. Upon arrival into the home of their father's Loki erupted into hysterical laughter.
“Do you think it over, brother? Do you think this is last they've heard of me? Someday when you do figure out a return path to that pathetic little planet let me know how Agents Barton and Romanov are doing, won't you?” Loki said in-between cackles.
Their father looked down at his son with disgust. Thor could only look troubled. What had Loki done?
(August 2013)
Perhaps, he should tell her the whole story. Thor was worried however that it might upset the Widow to give her such details. Loki had clearly left a piece of himself behind intentionally. For what purposes Thor had little to no idea but whatever the reason it had changed Barton.
Quite possibly forever. Didn't she deserve that truth? Shouldn't she know that this would be unfixable? Whatever he did.
Thor wished he could ask Loki but it was impossible for his brother was now dead. Unreachable in the walls of their gods experiencing perhaps a new life for himself happy within the halls filled with wine and good cheer. Something Loki never had in this life.
“Thor, what aren't you saying?” Natasha asked him, he should have expected it. He found the Widow was very intelligent and also extremely perspective like his brother had been.
“If Loki has changed him, he might not be able to fixed. My brother is dead and only he could undo anything spell or power exchange he may have left behind instead the Hawk's mind,” Thor confessed.
“Oh fuck,” Tony swore.
“Wait, we're assuming whatever he did was necessarily evil,” Steve said holding up his hand in protest.
“It's Loki, are you kidding me?” Tony interjected.
“My brother wasn't always so twisted,” Thor insisted.
“Guys! Guys! We don't know anything for sure yet. Why panic prematurely?” Bruce offered as a peace keeper.
Natasha slammed her fist on her chair making everyone jump and turn toward her, “Right now, I don't care. If I can talk to Clint. I'll take whatever sick or maybe even helpful gift that Loki left behind. After this is over, I'll worry about the rest.”
----
(August 2013- where the beginning meets)
“Barton? Barton? CLINT!”
Clint forced himself awake he was covered in blood and sweat in a jail cell that smelt like piss and gunpowder residue. Part of him thought he must be seeing things but the other part, the part that wanted to believe he was still alive and somewhat well knew otherwise.
It didn't stop him from saying his anyway, “Coulson?”
Clint looked up, he could barely hear by now. Everything was fuzzy or completely silent. Coulson was there standing in front of him.
Alive.
Why was he alive?
“What's going on?”
Coulson started to unlock his bonds, “I got better, punched Reynolds out.”
“He's working with someone. This is way too organized for just him,” Clint pointed out.
He had narrow minded focus, this guy. His main focus was science, deadly science but anything else seemed to be either un-important or things that went beyond his intellectual realm.
“We'll talk after we figure out how to get out of here,” Coulson said looking down at Clint's legs just to make sure, “What did they do to you?”
“A better question is what didn't they do?,” Clint muttered.
“How bad?”
“Not bad enough that I can't escape with you.”
Phil looked up to the sky, “There's a plane approaching…”
Clint looked up. He had that feeling again, one that maybe his dreams weren't dreams after all…
“Natasha, she and the team are waiting for us. They're on the plane.”
----
(In Gaza, same day, same time)
“Clint said they were in secluded spot probably near the airport but not too close,” Natasha informed them, “He said he could make out the vibrations and the low sound of air flights above them.”
“And if he wasn't deaf that means they would probably be in full hearing range,” Bruce reasoned.
“Correct.”
“What should we look for exactly? I haven't exactly had experience breaking and enter dressed as Captain America before,” Steve mentioned.
“What about the HDYRA base in 1944?” Tony asked cheekily
Steve coughed, “I wasn't counting that. It was war, prisons were a dime a dozen in Germany.”
Natasha looked at a tourist map she grabbed on the hike from the city, “Has to be bigger than a warehouse but not big enough to alarm the residents. So about the size of a mosque.”
Tony stared at her, “Mosque's have standard sizes?”
Natsasha rolled her eyes.
“What is this mosque you speak of?” Thor inquired.
“Uh don't worry about it big guy. It's just one of those weird religious things that are better left unexplained.”
Bruce shot Tony a dark look, “Complicated but basically we're looking for something probably old looked unused or at the very least worn out or near break down. Large but not square because then it might resemble a prison too much which would cause negative attention from the locals.”
“This is Gaza, do you really think a prison would be out of place?” Tony asked sarcastically.
“This is why middle easterners hate Americans,” Natasha muttered.
“Incidentally they also hate each other. Or at least Israel.”
“What do you think Reynolds did to him?” Steve asked.
“I'd rather not,” Natasha retorted looking down at the map of the city.
They were now running through the city, people moving out of the way, shouting at them in Arabic based languages. Enemies and allies- impossible to tell one from the next.
They just ran.
----
“I've been dreaming of you for months,” Clint remarked, “What happened?”
Phil was carrying Clint by his left leg as they tried to make their way to a door.
“I woke up in our medical base in Iceland. I thought I might be dead. They transferred me to Germany when I was a little more healthy. I woke up again in Reynolds hand. For months he seemed to be testing my mind. Experimenting with it. Loki had to done something when he stabbed me that Reynolds somehow knew about because that seemed to be the focus on his little pain games.”
Clint blinked, “Wait were both hit with Loki's staff… I've been dreaming you and Natasha. I talked to you and her…”
Phil looked sharply at him in surprise, “You think Loki accidentally gave us the powers that Reynolds always wanted to create?!”
“Make sense wouldn't it?”
--
That was right when their luck and the teams luck ran out. Reynolds army for hire came in guns blazing. Clint was no shape to carry a weapon.
Coulson only had a hand gun he took from the guard.
Reynolds was missing.
The team was over powered and out gunned until Bruce hulked out however.
“We need…”
“Cap, I got this…”
Bruce felt his body rip apart, anger filling him, and then mindlessly he attacked.
Tony started to blast the bad guys with his built in guns. Steve had taken to punching his way through to the entrance. Natasha had been trying to pick the lock to the front steel door.
“CLINT! COULSON!”
Thor ran up carrying his hammer, Steve returned to help Iron Man and the Hulk.
“Allow me”
Natasha ducked as his hammer threw lightning to the door, sparks flew and both jumped out of the way when the door started to dent.
Thor repeated the actions again and again.
“That wouldn't have worked with actual electricity,” Natasha noted with amusement, Thor sometimes had the best power.
“As long as we free our fellow warriors none of it matters Warrior Queen.”
Phil came charging through when he noticed the door was about to fall, half carrying Clint with tons of men behind them with guns.
“TASHA, DUCK!” he shouted once they were free, gunfire went off.
Natasha grabbed Clint's arm.
“Did we really met up in my dreams?”
Clint looked at her, “Honestly, I think they were mine.”
Thor looked between them, “Now warriors might not be the time to understood what has transpired.”
The Hulk's roar was coming closer.
'Let the big guy handle this?' he signed to her.
Natasha nodded and pulled Coulson and Thor to safety.
----
(Hours later)
Doctor Reynolds had once tried to create a drug that would allow him a chance to control people's minds via their sleep cycle. To get inside their head while they slept until he could take over their thought process and their dreams entirely.
Loki had used his magic to create a staff that would allow him to control people through stabbing them in the heart. It would enter their brains and take away their ability to ignore orders (but not take away their spirit or moral inclinations).
When Loki had stabbed Phil Coulson, a subject had been born.
Reynolds had been in New York when Loki was in the city. Loki had taunted Thor.
Eight months later, Phil Coulson was in Reynolds hand projecting his dreams unto Clint. Telling Clint he was in pain and need of help. Projecting old memories to his sleep cycle.
Five months after that Clint began dreaming of Coulson and Natasha probably not of his own free will (and of Coulson's desire for him to feel what Coulson felt).
So when Reynolds got Clint, he already knew what steps he had to take to try the same result. Instead he got a better one. Coulson could only project ideas and memories.
But Barton could visit their dreams, talk to them, and actually control what happened within this realm.
Reynolds knew that because of the experiments on Clint. Clint knew it because he had experienced the medical procedures.
Loki was somehow behind this, why else would Reynolds know how to do this? Where to find Coulson and Barton?
Who else could trick someone into getting the location of a secret base?
“Do you have any proof of this?” Thor demanded.
It was a tall order to assume that Loki not only was alive but in control of this entire situation. How could go so far just to get back at the two men he tried the hardest to destroy? Wouldn't he go further?
“No but sure as fuck does it make sense,” Tony replied.
“He escaped too. He wasn't there,” Steve pointed out.
Thor looked at them, “If you are truly correct then the world is in trouble. My brother is loose with a way to possibly control humanity through their sleep.”
“I know that's what worries me too,” Natasha whispered clutching Clint's hand a little harder.
It was something to worry about in the future but right now, she selfishly was just glad they were going home.
-----
(Epilogue)
(September 2013)
“I didn't fail, I have the serum. I can make us an army,” Reynolds whispered to the god standing before him. He was kneeling holding a vile of orange liquid.
“Well at least you aren't completely useless. You let them escape,” Loki hissed.
“But-But I couldn't take them on! The Avengers…”
Loki scoffed, “You are pathetic and your nearsighted need for revenge almost ruined everything. Luckily for you, Agent Barton really did hold the key. He indirectly saved your life. This time, I'll handle him and the team. You just make my army of slaves.”
--
Coulson was alive. Clint had his best friend back. Natasha had boyfriend back. Well now husband.
Stable… sort of.
Their relationship wasn't instantly fixed with a wedding but they got married right after they landed just like Natasha told Stark they would. Quick justice of the peace ceremony. Cake after, some mexican food, and Stark personally bought her a Tiffany's ring.
Clint and Natasha spent their supposed honeymoon working out their issues with retirement..
And having sex on every surface imaginable.
Barton was now a mind reader… in his sleep and others. Frequently he now invaded people's dreams. Stark's, Banner's, whoever he wanted. Talked. Played games.
Lived various fantasies.
It still weirded him out. Coulson had explained S.H.I.E.L.D. was trying to work on a cure. Clint kind of liked being able to hear his girl's pleasure in his dreams in a way he couldn't in real life.
He liked having control back in his life. But the dreams also served as a warning.
Loki was alive and he was coming for them.
Barton didn't know when, but he could be ready for it.
----
Things changed since Clint got back. Natasha no longer had weekly night outs with friends. Instead they had family nights every Friday. Movies, clubs… skiing… racing expensive cars. They did it all.
Clint and her used sex as a band aid at first, the dreams however made their communication so much better.
Selfishly Natasha liked the accidental ability Loki had given them (and probably was going to destroy them over, but Natasha and the team was ready).
Clint's ability had extended to their dreams too, their sex life was overly active. So much that now that Natasha was pregnant.
She was fucking terrified.
The next step would be to tell Clint and hope they were ready for when Loki and Doctor Reynolds came knocking.
Until then, it was telling him about the plus sign.
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