30 January 2013 @ 03:28 pm
Unfinished Fic Wednesday  
Greetings, B_Cers, and welcome to another Unfinished Fic Wednesday!

As a reminder, send snippets of fic (with rating and warning, as per comm rules!) to bc.unfinished@gmail.com if you'd like to be featured!


Today's submission is from [livejournal.com profile] ittykat, who says:
Below follows an excerpt from the middle of what I've written. It was originally a fill for a prompt at the promptathon, where Natasha works for SHIELD and Clint is still in the circus, but after a few days of writing madly with inspiration real life got in the way and I've had trouble coming back to it. I know it'll be a mediumish length plotty thing. I need some encouragement, or speculation, or suggestions, con/crit, anything that might help spark the muses into working again.

Rating: PG
Warnings: nothing for this section. Other sections include graphic violence and language

Four Days Ago

"Target is Carson Carnival of Travelling Wonders" Coulson says, sliding the mission file across his desk. "Established in the late 40's, though it's changed hands several times since the last of the Carson brothers passed in '72. Its most recent owner is a business conglomerate based out of Georgia."

"The state?" Natasha asks.

Coulson shakes his head. "The country."

Natasha frowns. "What does a Georgian conglomerate want with a moderately successful circus?" She wonders out aloud, as she flicks through the pages of the document that outline the persona she'll take on, background about the circus.

"It's a transient business, and circuses have always traditionally been associated with smuggling. We've been hearing chatter about Carson, and the analysts only recently confirmed it meant the circus and not the New Zealand art thief."

"What's the chatter?" She asks.

"They're moving something big, still unsure if it's weapons or drugs or something else, and we need someone on the inside to get any more info." He shrugs, "they don't have a surveillance system for us to hack. We need to go old-school on this one."

"Personnel?" She asks, noting that the file is, on the whole, quite light on details.

"Manager is Petyr Petrovski, Polish immigrant. There are a few ex-cons registered with them, but most of them have stayed pretty clean so we haven't been able to get much more out of them. The rest of the cast and crew is an unknown entity, light on official records, paid in cash. Nothing technically illegal on that score, but shady nonetheless. I'm sorry we can't give you any more to work with."

"I've done more with less." She says, takes the file and stands. “I’ll call you when I’m in.”

“Good luck.”

***


As expected, they hire her on the spot. She is immediately introduced to the rest of the acrobatic squad, some of whom had been watching the audition from ringside. One of the girls, comes up to her and shakes her hand. “Jenni,” she says, “Welcome to the squad.”

“Natalia.” She gives the younger girl a tight smile.

“Let me show you round.” Jenni says, and takes her back outside the big top, straight into the sideshow alley. “We do seven shows a week, two shows on Wednesday and Saturday. Travelling Sunday and Monday-- Hey Chuck!-- We’ll teach you the routine this week, get you fitted for costumes and start phasing you in the matinees next town over.” She explains, waving at some of the vendor operators, each of whom looks as shady and suspicious as one expects carnies to be. They smile warmly at Jenni, though, and she shows none of the usual signs of nervousness a bubbly teenager would have around such rough sorts.

“Sounds like you keep busy.” Natasha says, watching a man with a thinning grey beard and beady eyes stack heavy metal bottles in a pyramid.

“Living the dream.” She chirps. “The carnival operates from 3pm most days, 11am on matinee days, they shut up shop about ten minutes before big top starts. Come tonight and watch the performance, get a feel for it. We’re not your average company.”

They walk in between a few of the tents, slipping into the backstage area through a partially hidden door. “So what made you want to join the circus, Natalia?” Jenni asks.

“I have a certain skill set.” Natasha says, sinking into the hard consonants and deep vowels of her native language. “And I am sick of stripping.”

“Is it the men?” Jenni asks sympathetically. “I did it for a while, but I hated feeling like a piece of meat.”

Natasha shrugs, settling into her cover story like a worn, familiar coat. “The men I can handle.” She says dismissively. “It is no longer challenging for me to do it.”

“As good a reason as any, I suppose.” Jenni says, and leads her around to several metal caravans that are parked in a vague ordered formation. “All the performers are on this side of the top, rousties are over there.” She points to an area to their right. “Carnies usually bunk past them. You’ll be in with me in this one.”

The caravan is more spacious than she expected, made somewhat more spacious by the fact that she has not much in the way of personal effects. If Jenni finds it strange that she only has a backpack slung over her shoulder, then she doesn’t say. She just directs her which side of the closet is hers, which bed, where to find the bed sheets and how to turn on the shower (a complicated process of turning it just so and hitting a precise tile on the wall to engage the pipes).

“Hey Jay,” A male voice calls out, and the caravan shifts a little from side to side as a heavier body enters the enclosed space.

Jenni pokes her head back out of the small bathroom, and she smiles. “Hey!”

“Hey you got that thing I asked you about?” The man asks, and Natasha is wedged in the shower cubicle by Jenni.

“Yeah, it’s on my bunk.” Jenni says, gesturing towards the bright pink bunk that belongs to hers. She steps out of the bathroom and finally allows Natasha to step back into the main hallway and get eyes on the visitor. He’s not a tall man, but he’s broad-shouldered and clearly quite strong. There is a certain something in his posture, something that hints at military and professional, but it’s tempered by sandy hair and a fair smile.

“This the newbie?” He asks Jenni, who nods.

“This is Natalia.” She introduces, and Natasha steps forward, holding out her hand.

“Nice to meet you, Nat.” He says. “Name’s Barney Barton.”
 
 
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(no subject) - (Anonymous) on April 18th, 2017 07:46 am (UTC)
[identity profile] ittykat.livejournal.com on January 31st, 2013 01:12 am (UTC)
I enjoyed the fake out. He's obviously going to be a major player, but am still figuring out exactly howso
[identity profile] dictator-duck.livejournal.com on January 30th, 2013 11:39 pm (UTC)
... I want to read this.

I do not have more useful things *sheepish*. But. HELLO BARNEY. HELLO CARSON'S. HELLO NATASHA. (And Jenni is such an interesting OC! Unless she is from somewhere, in which case, she is still really interesting!)
[identity profile] ittykat.livejournal.com on January 31st, 2013 01:14 am (UTC)
I kind of want someone else to write the rest for me so I dont have to put the effort in and do it myself. I know that is bad.

And Jenni is an OC! One of my goals was to try and develop her beyond what I usually do with OCs which is usually relegate them to plot points.
[identity profile] dictator-duck.livejournal.com on January 31st, 2013 01:57 am (UTC)
Haha, I know this feeling >.>. It is a lovely start, though :D.

I think you've definitely started well with Jenni -- you might want to (since you're brainstorming for plot type things) develop the plot with directly thinking "how is Jenni involved in this, is she involved in the smuggling or only aware of it? What are her feelings about it? What're her motivations for joining the circus?" -- I usually find that if I poke the characters often enough they will themselves create plot threads/plot points from how the complicate and overlap. Because, yeah, I could see how she could turn into just a conduit for introducing Natasha to Barney, and that'd be sad :).

I really do like the sort of morally grey atmosphere you have going at Carson's so far -- they are mostly people with shady pasts, but they are friendly and accepting to their own and not that suspicious of Natasha. Bad guys are people too -- and people who do bad things are not always bad guys :).

... haha, that was like 500 more words than you needed. BUT SAFE TO SAY, I am intrigued.
[identity profile] ittykat.livejournal.com on January 31st, 2013 06:31 am (UTC)
Nooo, I like the suggestions and I like seeing what sticks out for you (tells me what I've done well!) and it also kind of emphasises something I hadn't realised I'd been invoking-- gives me opportunity to play with that a little bit more.

I do have a few things in mind for Jenni. She's a tough little nut of a character.
[identity profile] angela-n-hunt.livejournal.com on January 31st, 2013 12:36 am (UTC)
I very much want the rest.
[identity profile] ittykat.livejournal.com on January 31st, 2013 01:16 am (UTC)
Gee, thanks!
[identity profile] laughtersmelody.livejournal.com on January 31st, 2013 01:53 am (UTC)
I am so very curious to see where this would go. :)

It's got such fabulous potential, and it raises so many great questions. Is Clint still an assassin, even though he's in the circus? (Maybe he moonlights, or maybe he's an "enforcer" for them.) What is the circus really up to? What kind of relationship do the Barton brothers have? Is Barney involved in the smuggling? Is Clint? Will Natasha be intrigued by Clint and his abilities with a bow? Will she be attracted to Clint? Will Barney try to interfere, and is he jealous of Clint, both for his skills, and Natasha? When it is all said and done, will Natasha try to recruit Clint for SHIELD?

It could go so many ways. :D I sincerely hope you'll continue!
[identity profile] ittykat.livejournal.com on January 31st, 2013 06:34 am (UTC)
All very good questions. Some of which I've been asking myself, some of which I've tentatively answered in my plans, some of which hadn't occurred to me!

I'll see if I can find myself some time in the next few days to keep planning/writing and see where it goes. I really liked the prompt and felt like it needed something well thought out and significant to go with it, not just a little fill.
[identity profile] laughtersmelody.livejournal.com on January 31st, 2013 06:53 am (UTC)
It is a great prompt, and I have no doubt (especially judging from the wonderful excerpt :) ) that you will do a fantastic job with it!

I really, really hope to see this posted sometime in the near future. You've got me (happily) imagining circus!Clint now, lol. :D
[identity profile] jacedesbff.livejournal.com on January 31st, 2013 01:58 am (UTC)
Oh, you have GOT to finish this!!!!! This is AWESOME! WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?!?!
[identity profile] ittykat.livejournal.com on January 31st, 2013 06:35 am (UTC)
>D what DOES happen next--

no really >.> I have an idea, but it's still a very nebulous one, so predictions might be useful to help whittle it down.
[identity profile] alphaflyer.livejournal.com on January 31st, 2013 02:40 am (UTC)
Love the idea of finding Clint in the circus where he got his start. So -- yeah. Would love to see how all this fits into the narrative, and what role Barney is playing in all of this (not to mention the as-yet-unseen Clint). So yes -- please, more???

One substantive comment: I'm not sure about the "Georgian conglomerate". That country is a mess of epic proportions, and as such pretty much free of "conglomerates". There is organized crime galore, but that tends to be centred in the separatist republics, which declared their "independence" a few years back (nobody listened) and would not consider themselves as Georgian, but rather as Abkhazian or Ossetian (with an unsubtle and unsavoury overlay of Russian mafia). So if your conglomerate is evil, you may want to consider nuancing its national origin ... ;-)
[identity profile] ittykat.livejournal.com on January 31st, 2013 06:42 am (UTC)
Yeah, part of my reason for writing this was cos I hadn't seen Clint's beginning explored very much-- if I read bits that are set in this era of his life they're generally flashbacks or only very short and less about an explanation of what kind of person he was to leave or what circumstances made him leave. You see lots of fics about what kind of person Nat was before Clint came along, and the subsequent changes they brought about in each other.

And I have written more, and Clint does finally make an appearance. I just wanted to publish the bit that I felt most accurately conveyed the tone of the piece, since it is a Nat POV fic, and I wanted Clint to be a bit more of an enigma.

I'll admit my making it Georgian was purely for the dialogue moment, I hadn't researched much into it. I mostly wanted it to be ex soviet/soviet block area.
[identity profile] alphaflyer.livejournal.com on January 31st, 2013 09:55 am (UTC)
All great reasons for continuing! (You had me at "enigmatic Clint"...) :-)

Russia and Ukraine are full of sinister conglomerates/oligarchs who could own circuses for nefarious reasons. They're so much better organized that way than the poor, hapless Georgians ... ;-)
[identity profile] ittykat.livejournal.com on January 31st, 2013 10:29 am (UTC)
(Crap. now I'm gonna have to pull it off!!)

And aren't all conglomerates nefarious? I don't think I've ever heard of a conglomerate that wasn't completely dodgy.
[identity profile] crazy4orcas.livejournal.com on January 31st, 2013 03:05 am (UTC)
Totally wasn't expecting Barney -- and very pleasantly surprised! Looking forward to seeing where you go with this. I like Jenni and hope she's not involved in the evil-doings.

How do Natasha and Clint meet? How are Barney and Clint getting along? What's Clint's role in the circus? I'm very curious!
[identity profile] ittykat.livejournal.com on January 31st, 2013 06:44 am (UTC)
I have written Natasha and Clint's first meeting-- or rather I have had them meet, but that was about where I stopped when life got in my way. I quite like it, and I do have things in mind for that particular scene, and I do also have more use for Jenni. Whether or not she is good or evil I shall keep to myself.
[identity profile] hufflepuffsneak.livejournal.com on January 31st, 2013 03:21 am (UTC)
Now you have to finish, because it would be cruel not to :P

Nah, do what you want, but I did love it muchly. Barney and Jenni are already intriguing me- they are something you don't see much of in fanfic.
[identity profile] ittykat.livejournal.com on January 31st, 2013 06:45 am (UTC)
idk, being cruel is half the fun, right!

And that's lovely to hear that they already intrigue you. That was kind of my purpose-- to have them intrigue Natasha, and by doing so the reader as well.
[identity profile] stuntriderjenny.livejournal.com on January 31st, 2013 04:46 am (UTC)
ooooh this is awesome! :D
Loved the fakeout at the end with Barney ;)
Loved the world you are creating here! The circus feels very 3 dimensional and real. Jenni is an awesome OC! She feels very fleshed out and real as well. Does she have a role to play in all this? Will other carnie OCs be making appearances? Or people we know like Trickshot and the Swordsman? I personally would love to see this continued!! Its very intriguing and interesting :)

I'm not sure I have much else to add as far as suggestions and stuff go, other than what everyone else has said :/ Though, do you have it planned out how its going to end? Does Clint join Shield at the end? Does Natasha go her separate way? How exactly do the two meet? And what role does Barney play in this, is Clint involved in the smuggling or is he just a badass archer? Is Clint going to have a hand in stopping the smuggling, and then he impresses Natasha so much *she* offers *him* a job with Shield?

I hope you find your muse/inspiration because this is an awesome premise/story!! :)
[identity profile] ittykat.livejournal.com on January 31st, 2013 06:47 am (UTC)
I honestly don't know that much about trickshot and the swordsman (other than what I've read in fanfic) so I'm hesitant to include them.

After some of the comments earlier I now have an idea of how I'd end it, it's still a bit fuzzy in the middle though, which is something I need to work on. But your prompts/questions are certainly food for thought and I'll keep them in mind.

and ty for the lovely praise.
[identity profile] shenshen77.livejournal.com on January 31st, 2013 05:32 am (UTC)
So much potential, an intriguing story so far! I'd love to read more, see how it turns out :D
[identity profile] ittykat.livejournal.com on January 31st, 2013 06:48 am (UTC)
Thank you for the encouragement. I have a few more ideas now!
inkvoices: circus:woman/natasha[personal profile] inkvoices on January 31st, 2013 03:29 pm (UTC)
CIRCUS AU, CIRCUS AU! *happy dance* Sorry you had me at circus :D I am also intrigued by Clint meeting Natasha when she's playing an undercover role, because that always complicates things, and I'm interested in how this AU timeline will make Clint different and the same, and, like the others above, the fake out at the end with Barney got me.

Hmm, prodding the muses: why has it 'changed hands a few times' since we ran out of Carsons? Disagreements with the shady people, behind the scenes issues, it doesn't actually make any money...? What actually goes on that's made these boss people leave? ...Or did they do a disappearing act?

Does Clint find out that Natasha is undercover because she eventually tells him, because it's revealed at the end and it's awkward between them because she didn't tell him, or Barney or someone else tells him because they know the Law is after them, or Clint figures it out himself, or Clint knows all along because he's made a deal with SHIELD or someone because he wants to get himself and his brother out of this mess and that's where the original heads up came from, or...?

What is it that they're smuggling? Does Clint know about it? Does he care? Is Barney neck deep in it or on the peripherary? Does Clint care because Barney's involved? Do any of the artists or workers know what's going on? Who, and why? And how does Natasha manage to track down who those people are and find anything out from them?

And circus-ness! I want to know what the act Natasha is in is like, and the other acts, and the behind the scenes stuff, and everything! This snippet has given me a gritty, seventies circus feel and it's great :D More please?
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