Hello folks, I am apologizing for (relative) lateness of this post – I had a long day and writing this thing required some thinking and concentration on my part. Our topic today is something we often mention here – headcanons. My first post to this comm (as I recall, very fondly) was a question about Clint's canon background, and I remember, very clearly, a lovely bunch of people giving me very kind answers that there are, in fact, different canons in comics, that we don't know a lot about MCU Clint and that I'm free to pick what I like and run with it, because it's completely cool. It proved to be true, also this comm proved to accept different approaches to our favorite characters, and that people here are very open to various interpretations of Clint and Natasha and the nature of our relationship. As a new fan and new fic writer (for this couple) I didn't have a detailed, exact ideas about who Clint and Nat are, and what they're like. Just that they were awesome and badass and had incredible chemistry and wanted to know more about them. The people who taught me are – all of you.

I can pinpoint a certain “point in origin” for my learning - when I started to write my own fic(s), I was a lurker here, and mostly read discussions and things. The second story I read was “Of Languages” (funnily, I don't remember the first one; but “Of Languages” was second, I'm certain of that) and I think it laid ground for my own characterizations of entire team, not just Clint and Natasha. I know I read bunch of meta, and later, discussed things with many wonderful people here, and I don't want to single out anyone for two reasons. One, I don't remember everyone who influenced me with their ideas, and two, I really don't want anyone to feel “left behind/left out”. What's so amazing about this comm is the feeling of community that discusses, creates and is willing to share (their own views and ideas) and accepting new members and their (new) ideas. The point of this post is to invite you all to share your headcanon(s) and swap them with your fellow members.

For me headcanons are somewhat like a map – bunch of my own views (imagined facts, imagined, because they're my ideas and opinions) about our characters, their personalities, their pasts, their motivations etc. I'll try to do a comprehensive and hopefully not too long list of them, and I invite you to comment, discuss and share your own ideas :)

*difficult childhoods – it's one thing that's mutual to Natasha and Clint, you could say a first parallel between them – they're both orphaned children who ended up in hands of not very good people and had to fight for their own survival since then. I imagine Nat was taken by the Red Room when she was ten or eleven – I have an impression that many people imagine she was younger, but I like to think she had a normal childhood and loving parents through earliest, formative years. Without that (without experiencing genuine love, care and a healthy connection to someone) she wouldn't be able to recover from everything that Red Room did to her. As for Clint, I imagine he also had people he was able to connect to – that his mother was loving and tried to protect him and his brother the best she could, that some, if not many, foster parents weren't so bad (something I actually know from experience), that there were positive role models in circus, military and finally in SHIELD.

*personalities and therapy – I believe both had to go through therapy after their rough pasts (just as Clint needs it after Loki, as it is very likely for him to develop PTSD or at least post traumatic stress reaction). When I talk about personalities, I mostly think of Natasha – I don't think the meaning of “being unmade” means having her own personality completely deleted and turned into a blank slate. In real world, that's a very difficult thing to do, if not completely impossible. Also, had her personality been completely erased, there would be nothing left to reclaim. This is a further reason why I believe she wasn't a tiny kidlet when RR took her – ten or eleven is young enough to be influenced, conditioned and trained (to act and believe the things they order her to, so she'd stay alive); but also, it gives her a basis she can go back to once she decides she doesn't want to spend her life like someone's killing puppet. As for Clint, I believe he worked through most of his issues at the point when he met Natasha, and thus, he was able to be a steady companion, fellow agent, partner and friend, when she needed that stability. Which leads me to

*empathy – and the fact that both need it in order not to become unpredictable sociopaths. (SHIELD, or any organization, needs loyal members. Sociopaths and psychopaths lack the loyalty mechanism, and can't be trusted or counted upon). Clint doesn't shoot Natasha because of empathy, IMO – because he sees himself in her, his younger self looking for a way out of entire mess her life has become since she let RR and tried to settle the score with them and do some kind of warped justice. He also recognizes the basic empathy in her, while he follows her and learns about her through her actions; that's why he makes the different call – yes she is amazing and she has the skillset SHIELD could really use, but she also has the potential that's preserved in her empathy (which is why I can't subscribe to “Natasha is unkind” point of view. She is kind to people she's loyal to, but her loyalty is selective and hard won. Just as Clint's is.)

*knowing your own darnkess – basically comes down to dealing with their own issues. It's an ongoing process for both of them, but I tend to see Clint as the more steady (for me, he is the earth, and Natasha is the water). Both can be scary and destructive, but when combined, they can create amazing things. (Also, I tend to think of post – Loki Clint as cracked earth injured by earthquake; and Natasha, being the water, is able to wash away the rough edges – aka help him heal.) I was told this particular take on Nat and Clint is pretty kind? It's how I roll, I like providing my characters with chances for stability and normal-ish lives.

*trust – is a crucial thing between them. I believe that, in order to achieve this, Clint treats her with respect for her boundaries in her beginner days at SHIELD; that he treats her with honesty, and also with no fear. It's a new experience for her, considering what her life was like all through Red Room and after – she wasn't able to rely on anyone or truly trust anyone, because everything was unsafe and everything was a possible means to her own end. Clint is one of new people who treat her without ulterior motives, but also, he offers to be her friend, and she slowly learns to let him in and drop her guard, because he's proven, over and over, that he won't hurt her (not in physical, but in emotional sense). Trust is crucial, I believe, for them becoming SHIELD's strike team – their employers would pair them as partners only after they're certain they can work tohether, they trust each other and rely on each other. And that leads me to

*intimacy and consent – when they reach the point of becoming intimate, Clint is careful to follow her lead and respect her boundaries (again). When we're talking about smut fics, I'm a huge fan of enthusiastic consent; I subscribe to the school of “Natasha didn't have many (or any) genuine experiences before Clint” which is another fascinating area for them to explore. Ultimately, intimacy consists of trust, friendship and not being afraid to be yourself with that other (special) person, and it's an amazing contrast with two characters who lead this kind of lifestyle. I love when they're able to be genuine, gentle and caring around each other.

*mythology parallels – finally, I had a kick with this one. Finding parallels for Natasha wasn't very difficult; I find she is more or less typical manifestation of Persephone (and I apologize for my very basic interpretation – it's mostly the language barrier, not my lack of understanding or knowledge about the myth) – basically, a young woman who was kidnapped and taken into darkness (underground); she emerges strong, and she has also mastered that darkness and learned her way around. However I love the idea of Natasha as Minotaur, labyrinth and the labyrinth's keeper all at the same time – she is the mysterious, ever shifting landscape of the labyrinth, capable of changing personae, she is the death waiting inside that intriguing trap, but she is also the person wrapped and hidden underneath that image (and beyond “Black Widow”). I played with this idea a lot in my fics. Finding a mythology parallel for Clint was a bit more difficult, since he is treated like a supporting character in MCU – however I find arthurian Sir Gawain amazingly fitting. Depending on the version/story/a legend, Sir Gawain is portrayed differently (one could say, he suffers from characterization inconsistencies, much like Clint across comic!verse.) But, traits which are ascribed to him most often are chivalry, loyalty (to superior knights, or, in some legends, his uncle, King Arthur); bravery. He is a great warrior, and most of the time a honorable person. Also, Gawain is a background player most of the time – well liked knight, yes, but often, in modern legends, he doesn't take the front and center role. What fascinates me about Gawain the most is the legend about Sir Gawain and Lady Ragnell – in order to save his uncle, King Arthur, Gawain agrees to marry a loathy lady, Lady Ragnell. Despite her unattractive appearance, Gawain decides to treat his new bride as he would if she were desirable, and at that moment her true looks are revealed – she is beautiful, but cursed to look incredibly unappealing. She tells him then he can choose if he prefers her to be beautiful during the day (in front of others) or during the night (when they’re alone in their chambers). Gawain gives her sovereignty (the point of this legend is that what women want the most is sovereignty, aka, to be able to make their own decisions – something King Arthur learns, but Sir Gawain doesn't know of)– the chance to make her own decision; which breaks the spell for good, and she remains beautiful day and night. There are several ways to interpret this legend, however, one of the reasons I like Gawain as the mythic representation of Clint Barton is the fact that he allows Ragnell this freedom to choose – something I find very, very important in Clint's way of treating Natasha.

Long post was long! I hope I didn't make your eyes cross! Share, comment, discuss and have fun!