Yes, garroting scarfs as the perfect fall accessory.

Other accessories include a coffee thermos with a switchblade hidden in the bottom and a stylish fall coat that has an entire thief's tool set hidden in the lining.

All that is why she is Tony's favorite person to get kidnapped with. Not that he wants to, he's sincerely sick of all the kidnapping attempts. But if anyone gets snatched with him, definitely her.

I can see her being equal parts flatted and annoyed by that lol. "Dammit, Stark, you can't always count on me to have your back when you decide to piss off a super villain."

"Yes, yes, more with the escaping, less with the snarking - watch out!"

*thunk*

"And now I'm seeing stiletto heels in a whole new light."

"Shut and run, Stark." But she's smiling.

Hahahaha now I want to see this be a full drabble. ;)

"Honestly, do you schedule these things Stark?"

"Are you kidding? I was halfway through redesigning Dummy's chaise, had an internal router update for Jarvis' mainframe running, and the Mets were playing. Tell me why I would pencil in 'get kidnapped by idiotic goons with terrible ski masks - seriously, dude, that one's like half over a nostril - with Natasha'."

"I've stopped trying to rationalize your life choices."



"Leverage, Tony." She looked sideways at him, the warning in her irritated gaze enough to prepare him for the moment she sunk into a half crouch and effortlessly tossed her guard over her shoulder. "It's all about leverage."

"Are you quoting Pirates of the Caribbean at me? You are, aren't you." He took advantage of his own guard's distraction to slam an elbow into the other man's face, smiling grimly at the crunch. "This is revenge for me forbidding the third one from movie night, I know it."

"That's the - best – one," Natasha shot back, interrupted by the impact of her boots with faces and, in one guard's particularly unfortunate instance, a groin. "Besides, Thor wants to see it, and you can't say no to a god."

"You should check with Steve on that, I think he's a bit fuzzy on whether our giant buddy counts."

"The day you rely on his opinion for anything is the day I put you in Medical, because something will definitely be wrong with you."

"Saying that I already have a lot of things wrong with me would just be playing into your hands, wouldn't it."

"You're catching on."



"Unlike you, Natasha, I am not a walking one-woman Swiss army knife, weapons optional. People must laugh when they strip-search you, and I bet you laugh right back when you tear them apart bare-handed." Tony slid his arm into the mess of wires and searched for the right one, face set in concentration.

"That’s such a harsh way to put it. I prefer 'educate them'. And you need to design a new suit if this keeps happening. Or at least a repulsor, one that's small enough to travel with you."

"Right, let me get right on that, oh wait, just one problem: where in the world am I going to put it?" Beat. "No, oh, no, nope not doing it. You thinking about my private parts makes me very uncomfortable, Romanoff."

"Funny, a few years ago you would have said the exact opposite."

"A few years ago I was young and naive. Now I'm older, wiser, and forewarned. Barton has such colorful stories about you, I'm sure you're aware. Vienna? Nicely done. Terrifying, but nicely done."

"He doesn't know the half of it."

"Even more terrifying.” His fingertips found the connecting wire. “Got it, let's go."



They drove in an easy silence, Natasha deftly maneuvering the Jeep around the wreckage as the adrenaline from the fights ebbed away. Tony paused when they got out, leaning against his bullet-riddled door to look across the windshield at the woman who had caught his hesitation.

“Thanks,” he said roughly, unable to summon his usual suave air. “For that, back there. For-“ his mouth twitched into a grimace, “-keeping me from thinking about it too much.”

Natasha’s artfully raised eyebrow lowered, a faint smile appearing on her lips.

“It’s what teammates do, isn’t it? I’d say you could do the same for me, but if I'm ever in that situation, I want you to be a long, long ways away."

"Which means of course I'll be right there," he shot back, and her smile grew wider for a moment.

"You'll probably be the cause of it. Now, which airplane do you want to steal?"

Edited 2013-12-02 02:35 pm (UTC)

THIS IS BRILLIANT. Though I question Natasha's movie choices. ;)

I'm gonna be giggling for a few weeks over this.

THANK YOU! :D Comedy is not my strong suit, and Tony is the hardest one for me to get the voice right, but I figure it's worth a try. :)

*cough* The third one may be my personal favorite. *cough* But think about it - the complexity of story lines and characters wrapping together in a way that mimics the real world, the morally ambiguous Jack Sparrow who can't be pinned down as 'good' or 'bad', the way each character is ultimately fighting tooth and nail for their heart's desire - I think there's a lot Natasha could appreciate in it. ;)

That was cool.

Thank you! :)

Heehee, they are so cute together!

And he was totally trying to be Black Widow with the little tricks in IM3 ;)

Also, she doesn't sing epic ballads, unlike Thor.