The arrow hisses from the string, followed by the one from between his teeth. (His last – of course.) The first drives into the shaft of the arrow still sticking out of the creature’s right eye; the second drives both its predecessors in more deeply.

The T Rex stumbles and falls forward with a roar, emitting a hot gust of the most incredibly foul breath Natasha has encountered since that time she’d been captured by the Albanian mafia. She gags, which isn’t exactly helpful, and almost loses her breakfast altogether. (They’d had to skip lunch when the first reports came in about strange creatures pouring into the park, from the basement of the Museum of American History where no one had apparently noticed van Doom’s activities.)

The T Rex has clearly lost control over its massive hind legs, but the head is still very much whipping around, snapping jaws lined with teeth that are as long and as thick as Natasha’s arms.

“Boost?” she shouts and -- thank goodness for a circus-trained partner -- Clint doesn’t even blink. He just drops his bow, nods and laces his fingers together for max stability.

Natasha takes a run at him, leaps in the air and barely feels his touch on her feet as he twists out of her way, lifting her up high and pushing her forward in the same motion. She flips end over end, past those teeth and a brief (quickly suppressed) vision of what it would be like if she landed inside the creature’s jaw, and jamming her feet together, drives the last arrow shaft into its skull as deep as it will go.

There is a squelching sound, followed by a banshee-like shriek and she finds herself clinging to a surprisingly warm, thick-skinned neck. (Pachyderm?) The T Rex’ head pitches forward and it lies still, a grey mountain streaked by the lights coming from those hovering choppers.

Natasha holds on for a minute or so more, just to be sure.

“No pulse,” she says with no small degree of satisfaction, just as Rogers’ voice comes over the comm.

“Got all the minions,” he says. “And I think Banner is done with the raptors. Calling in S.H.I.E.L.D for cleanup.”

Well, that’s that, then.

“Wonder what T Rex tastes like?” Clint looks at the huge body as he helps Natasha climb off the neck in an utterly unnecessary, but appreciated moment of regression to the Age of Chivalry. “One of those suckers would keep all the food banks in New York State in meat for, like, months. If you can find a big enough freezer.”

Natasha shakes her head at her partner just on principle. She is leaning in for a semi-chaste celebratory kiss when Stark’s voice crackles into their ears, with a heavy overlay of Metallica.

“Aaaaaand … most confirmed kills of the night goes to Anthony Edward Stark, with a nice and even thirty-eight. Well, almost even. Who feels like chicken tonight?”

“Do you guys always think about food?” Natasha asks.

Clint shrugs.

“Not always. Most of the time we think about sex. Can I borrow your smartphone?“

She is instantly suspicious.

“You’re not calling for take-out now, Clint Barton.”

“Who said anything about take-out? The T in Rex is for Taxidermy. Do you want to spend the rest of the year listening to Stark crow about his skills as a bird shot? Quality, not quantity I say.”

Natasha stares at the brute, grateful it is no longer capable of emitting its WMD breath. (You could bottle that stink and sell it on the black market to keep dictators in power.) No way will she be able to sleep, with the head of that thing on a wall in the living room to remind her.

“You want a hunting trophy,” she says slowly, “For a bragging contest with Stark? Here's what you can have, Barton: A tooth. A whole tooth, and nothing but a tooth. Without plaque.”

Hahahahahahahahaha, this is AMAZING. Of course Clint would have the best abs in SHIELD (I saw what you did there, with the Agents of SHIELD reference)! What an awesome ficlet to accompany an amazing piece of fanart!

*stares* That is just... wow, perfect! PERFECT! With all the little details, and the team in the background, and Tony and Clint's little bragging contest, and, and, Clint wants to stuff his dinosaur. Ahahaha. My day, it has been made. This is what I love about fandom! :D
(Oh, and I love the bonus AoS shoutout, heh.)

Edited 2014-01-01 08:35 pm (UTC)

This was awesome, exactly how I can see their dinosaur battle go.

Thank you -- but all credit goes to Astrid and her inspiring art! For which I gather you, in turn. provided the inspiration -- so let's hear it for team work! :-)

Here via AstridV and this is absolute perfection!

Hee, thank you! :-)

Laugh out loud funny! I'm still giggling.

The only butt brain around here is von Doom. -- hahahahahha

Yeah, dear old Victor has a lot to answer for... ;-) Me, I just fell in love with Astrid's dino.

YESSSSS! Perfect accompaniment to the art--funny and suspenseful and full of banter!