SUUUUUPER LATE SOZ.

---

Clint and Kate are in the corner when it happens – like, a close corner, but out of the way, because it turned out ‘out of the way’ was a really good place to be at that moment.

But backtrack a little. Kate’s boyfriend had turned out to be a shit and had cheated on her with some woman from his gym. So Clint was being the supportive best friend and buying her consolation drinks in the bar a block over from his place in Bed Stuy, because Kate’s place was in Manhattan and Clint was generous but not Manhattan-prices generous.

So far so normal, or at least sort of normal – Kate is awesome; people don’t cheat on her unless they are deficient in brain cells and basic human decency, so it isn’t like Clint has to do this often. Normally it’s the other way round. Out of the two of them, Clint is definitely the one with the crap relationship record.

So here they are, minding their own business at a corner table in a fairly busy bar in Bed Stuy, when there’s the sound of breaking glass. That’s not completely out of place though – drunk people aren’t good with breakables and spilt beer doesn’t make the wait staff’s jobs any easier – so they both ignore it. However, it’s followed by a gasp and a loud slap and suddenly people start backing away from the bar
like there’s a wild animal cornered there.

That’s unusual.

So, of course, Clint and Kate turn to look, only to find the single hottest woman either of them has ever seen (Clint can totally speak for Kate on this) threatening a guy with the cocktail stick from her martini.

“What the fuck is your problem?” the woman snarls. “I don’t owe you jack shit.”

The guy looks over at the girls behind the bar, but they’re standing with identical raised eyebrows and crossed arms, the feeling of you brought this shit upon yourself, jackass rolling off them in waves.

“I am not here for your amusement, or for your titillation or to stroke your ego,” the woman continues, threat dripping like acid from every syllable. “I am here for alcohol and I can damn well pay for my own.”

The cocktail stick is pressed very close under the guys chin. He’s tilting his head away but she just keeps pressing in.

“And when I say ‘no’ – ”

– Clint and Kate force themselves through the backtracking evening crowd –

“ – I mean ‘no’ – ”

– and Clint can now see that the woman has also got her killer six inch heel pressed firmly into the top of the guy’s left foot. Kate’s done that to Clint, so he knows that hurts like hell –

“ – not ‘not now’ – ”

– and Clint is sure he has the exact same shell shocked expression on his face that he can see on Kate’s –

“ – not ‘please keep trying’ – ”

– and he definitely has the same ‘I am so attracted to you right now’ expression as Kate. Hoo boy –

“ – not ‘get up into my space and I might change my mind’.”

The bouncers have turned up, but the girls behind the bar shake their heads ever so slightly and they hang back. One of them looks like he’s itching to throw the guy out on his ass about as much as he wants to laugh in his face. Clint would be right there with him if he could tear his eyes away from the phenomenal woman in front of him.

“A dog knows that. And I swear, if I ever see you harass anyone, here or anywhere else, I will break you.”

The woman removes the cocktail stick and her lethal heel from the guy’s vicinity, somehow manages to look contemptuously down her nose at him even though she’s at least six inches shorter, and says, “Leave. Now,” in the most threatening tone of voice Clint has ever heard.

Clint and Kate are unceremoniously pushed out of the way as the guy practically bolts for the door.

There is a moment of stunned silence, into which – because neither of them are particularly good at keeping their mouths shut – Clint and Kate say, in awed unison and loud enough to be heard by the whole bar, never mind the magnificent woman who’s verbal beat down they just witnessed;

“Oh my God, marry me.”

WHEEE YOU USED THE HAWKEYES. It's almost like you know me or something. ;P Thank you!!

IT IS, ISN'T IT? :P I'm glad you liked! I might write some more... only another short chapter or something but... yeah, maybe.

OHH YES PLEASE. :DDD

It happened! It is up! Check AO3. :D

OHHH. AO3 decided Easter is a good time to stop sending me notifs, so I'm five kinds of out of the loop, fic-wise. :C READ AND LOVED. :D

\o/

This draws you along and builds up energy like a snowball rolling fast down a hill. I love the punchy language and adore the Hawkeyes and their shared brain. And this:

So far so normal, or at least sort of normal – Kate is awesome; people don’t cheat on her unless they are deficient in brain cells and basic human decency, so it isn’t like Clint has to do this often.

Something about Clint's matter-of-fact regard for Kate makes me happy. <3

I love Clint's matter-of-fact regard to Kate. It's one of my favourite things about their relationship. I'm so glad you enjoyed it!