A Gift From: jacedesbff
Type Of Gift: Fic
Title: Nerds Rule!
A Gift For: franztastisch
Rating: PG
Warnings: body self-image issues discussed (mild, but present)
Summary/Prompt Used: Two epic nerds meet online and then meet in person at Dragon*Con. Will their love survive the transition to the real world?
Author's Note: So I saw this prompt – “Clint and Natasha are epic nerds who 'meet' online first and chat for ages before finally meeting in person at a con. Bonus points for them being in costume and them not actually finding out what the other looks like until the evening. Bonus points for them being in costume and them not actually finding out what the other looks like until the evening.” – and I jumped all over it because (a) I *am* an epic nerd, (b) I attended Dragon*Con 14 years in a row – I love it beyond the telling of it and LOVED the thought of our favorite couple attending it, and (c) these things together exploded my brain. So thank you for the awesome prompt!! I had a lot of fun with this and hope you do, too. Happy Holidays!!!


banner by scribble_myname


“So he really doesn’t know what she looks like,” said Tony.

Darcy rolled her eyes. “He really doesn’t know, Tony. Come on, you know Clint doesn’t have Facebook. Turns out she doesn’t either.”

“Does Clint need me to show him how to attach pictures in Messenger? I know it’s complicated…”

Darcy smacked Tony on the arm. “Not everyone is as shallow as you, jackass.”

“I’m wounded,” Tony cried dramatically, grabbing at his heart.

“Only because you know I’m right.”

>>>>>-------------->

BLACKWIDOW34: I’ve never met anyone else online who didn’t have a Facebook page.

HAWKEYE39: me neither

BLACKWIDOW34: You rebel.

HAWKEYE39: we can exchange pics if you want. dont need to buts not evil or anythgn

BLACKWIDOW34: I don’t think so. I like the anonymity.

HAWKEYE39: sat word!!!

BLACKWIDOW34: I have a vocabulary of 75,000 words and I’m not afraid to use it – seen on one of my favorite tees.

HAWKEYE39: i totally cop to wanting to meet you in person someday so I can see you in that te

BLACKWIDOW34: What if I don’t live up to your expectations?

HAWKEYE39: you really dont need to worry about that

BLACKWIDOW34: here’s the thing. You know what life’s like for a woman at a tech school. The first thing anyone sees is my boobs. The second thing is a … certain aspect of my appearance. Maybe I’m really short, maybe I’m really tall, maybe too pretty, maybe too ugly – just too different. The point is it takes too long to move past the outside and most people don’t bother anyway. I like that not being an issue with you.

HAWKEYE39: okay i would send you a picture but im in all of them. you know I grew up in the circus

HAWKEYE39: my best friends were a dwarf and a guy who was burned in a bigtop fire when he was six – over 40% of his body including his face was covered in scars. he didnt car like at all so nether did we

HAWKEYE39: the first person I had sex with was a contorshunist who told people that she learned how to be so bendy so people wouldnt look at her ‘ugly face’. she was actually the worlds nicest chick but all she focused on was her looks. drove me crazy. seriously I don’t care what you look like tash

…

…

HAWKEYE39: tash? you there?

HAWKEYE39: seriously did i ofend you?

BLACKWIDOW34: um…no, you didn’t offend me. Just…thank you. Yeah. Thank you.

>>>>>-------------->

“And they decided Dragon*Con was the best place to meet?” commented Sam drily.

“Seemed appropriate,” smiled his best friend. Steve tended to take a glass-half-full view of the world. Not that Sam didn’t – it’s part of why they were such good friends. They figured they balanced Natasha out.

“So they’re going to meet at the Marvel vs. DC panel, then?”

“Good heavens, no!” Steve laughed. “They’re meeting on neutral turf – that nice restaurant on the main floor of the Hilton that most of us are too poor to go to. It’s never all that crowded. The flame wars come later.”

“I’ll bet.”

Sam gave Steve a fist bump. They couldn’t wait to see this go down.

>>>>>-------------->

HAWKEYE39: nice handle. too bad dc is better

BLACKWIDOW34: Stan Lee.

HAWKEYE39: Jerry Segel and Joe Shuster

BLACKWIDOW34: I’m pretty sure it’s spelled Siegel.

HAWKEYE39: so im a crappy speller. superman still kicks spidermans ass

BLACKWIDOW34: The Fantastic Four.

HAWKEYE39: reeds a duch who treats his wife like crap. the thing needs to move past the drama seriously dude move on. jonnys cool enuf but hes stuck with reed as a broinlaw which sux

HAWKEYE39: batman

BLACKWIDOW34: sociopathic loaner with daddy issues.

BLACKWIDOW34: Daredevil

HAWKEYE39: okay i have to give it up for my man murdock. not enough of us out there rockin the disabilities while fiting the good fight

BLACKWIDOW34: You just spelled the same word two different ways in the same sentence – one wrong, one right. I think I like you.

BLACKWIDOW34: It’s “fighting”, btw.

HAWKEYE39: and you didn’t ask what my disability is

BLACKWIDOW34: not my business.

HAWKEYE39: im deaf

BLACKWIDOW34: Still not my business, but that’s cool. So you said in a comment that you go to GA Tech. What’s your major?

HAWKEYE39: mechanical engineering junior. what about you. school or work?

BLACKWIDOW34: School. Computer science senior at UNC – Chapel Hill. One of the only women in the department.

HAWKEYE39: yeah we have like three in the whole program

BLACKWIDOW34: My name’s Natasha.

HAWKEYE39: nice to meet you tasha im clint

>>>>>-------------->

“I don’t see why he made it so hard,” remarked Bucky as he tried to convince himself to get out his homework. He had just gotten back from class and was exhausted.

“Come on, Bucks, it’s not just cosplay, it’s THE OUTFIT –“ the capitalization of the words was evident in Darcy’s exclamation “–that Natasha will picture in her mind whenever she thinks about meeting him for the first time. Forever! Don’t even pretend that you can’t be romantic – I know perfectly well that’s a big fat lie.”

Bucky snorted tiredly; Advanced Robotics class was going to be his downfall – they couldn’t keep up this pace. “Yeah, yeah, whatever.” His head lolled to one side and he managed to aim a smile at his girlfriend as she bustled around their small apartment getting dinner ready. “You know he could have just put yellow duct tape down the side of some blue work pants.”

“James Buchanan Barnes! Let us have no such blasphemy!” Darcy moved the grilled cheese sandwich she was making off of the burner and moved over to plop down next to her boyfriend and roommate. “Seriously, he agonized over this. He wants everything to be perfect. I think searching all over Etsy and eBay took his mind off of how nervous he was.”

“I don’t think it worked,” said Bucky softly as Darcy looked up at him.

“Were you any better when you asked me to move in with you?”

“That’s beside the point,” Bucky mumbled.

Darcy just laughed.

>>>>>-------------->

HAWKEYE39: so were really gonna do this

BLACKWIDOW34: We really are.You ready?

HAWKEYE39: definitely. hey we should dress up

BLACKWIDOW34: Um, it’s DragonCon. Of course we’re dressing up.

HAWKEYE39: haha. no we should match

BLACKWIDOW34: Oooooo…I like that! Hmmm…what to go as…

HAWKEYE39: superman and wonder woman

BLACKWIDOW34: Reed and Sue Storm.

HAWKEYE39: batman and catwoman

BLACKWIDOW34: Scarlett Witch and QuickSilver.

HAWKEYE39: yeah i think this is gonna go on all night. how about we call another truce and go with star wars? everyone loves star wars :-)

BLACKWIDOW34: Han Solo and Princess Leia!

HAWKEYE39: awesome. that means its easier for me tho han always dresses the same – you’ll need to pick an outfit

BLACKWIDOW34: As long as you’re not expecting a metal bikini.

HAWKEYE39: wouldnt dream of it :-)

>>>>>-------------->

“You’re strangely good at this, Thor,” Natasha said with a smile as the large blond man braided her hair. Right now he was doing a simple version so it didn’t get all tangled under the helmet she was going to wear for the early part of the day. He would change it later to the more complicated hairstyle.

“My mother taught my brother and I that a man should be able to help his wife and daughters look their best at all times.”

“Of course she did.” Natasha put her hand up to feel the French braid her friend was sculpting, but he batted her hand away.

“No spoiling the big reveal!” Thor chided.

“What do you think, Jane? Will it look like I walked off of a movie set? Your boyfriend promised, you know.”

Natasha didn’t really expect the astrophysicist to answer. Jane was working on her doctoral thesis and often disappeared into what her friends referred to as the Phantom Zone where nothing but kisses from Thor – and not always those – brought her back to the human plane of reality. Even at the con, Jane was buried in an astrophysics journal.

Sure enough, Jane managed a quiet grunt that might have been a yes or a request for pizza – it was hard to tell. Natasha and Thor just looked at each other and laughed.

“Your Hawk will be entranced by your radiance, Lady Natasha,” intoned Thor. Natasha always did love his sense of the dramatic.

“Do you think it’s okay that I chose this outfit – well, both of them?” her nerves entered her voice.

“Any time, beautiful lady!” Thor insisted. “Of course, I will need at least an hour to fix your hair again before the dance, but sacrifices must be made in the spirit of true love!”

Natasha laughed. So true. So very, true.

>>>>>-------------->

BLACKWIDOW34: Okay. Time for truth. Why no Facebook?

HAWKEYE39: ruined my bro’s life

BLACKWIDOW34: That sucks.

HAWKEYE39: yeah.

BLACKWIDOW34: I don’t want the people I grew up with to find me. They’re evil.

HAWKEYE39: that also sux

BLACKWIDOW34: Indeed it does.

HAWKEYE39: my bro stole a car. bragged about it on fb bc hes an idiot – got arrested. killed a guy in prison. there for life

…

HAWKEYE39: u there? i scare you off?

BLACKWIDOW34: My uncle took me in when my parents died. He was wicked religious and believed that my sin must be purged. I have red hair (not orange – red), so he created the Red Room where I had to repent of my sins. I left when I turned 16 and petitioned the state to make me an emancipated minor.

BLACKWIDOW34: My school counselor took me in. Helped me get into college. I don’t want my uncle to find me. So no online pics.

HAWKEYE39: people are morons and you are amazing

BLACKWIDOW34: I love you, too.

>>>>>-------------->

Clint was in the Hyatt lobby waiting for Natasha. He didn’t think he’d been this nervous since the first time he had to do an archery routine in the big top. Someone tapped his shoulder.

Standing behind him was Princess Leia – maybe 5’4” tall, wearing the white hooded outfit she initially wore in Jabba’s palace. It matched beautifully with the relaxed white shirt and custom-made Han Solo pants Clint was wearing.

They practically threw themselves into each other’s arms. Neither of them said a word as they clung to each other. Clint tucked his head into Natasha’s shoulder and thought that he could get lost in this woman’s embrace.

Slowly they pulled away from each other.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” he said to her with a smile.

“I’m holding a thermal detonator,” she replied, although her voice wasn’t distorted as Leia’s had been in the movie. No, hers was the husky, alluring voice he had come to love in their late night phone conversations.

“Of course you are,” Clint laughed. “Let me introduce you to my friends. They’re dying to meet you.”

“Likewise,” Natasha assured him.

The two of them introduced their friends, who hit it off right away. Clint and Natasha had already planned out their afternoon, picking panels together, both compromising on which ones to attend because they knew that when they finally met, they weren’t going to want to split up to go to different rooms.

So it was that they went to a Brony panel for him (his favorite was Pinky Pie), and a Dragonriders of Perm panel for her. They went together to see Tahmoh Penikett, Mary McDonnell, and James Olmos from Battlestar Galactica. They had strangers stop them in the halls to take pictures of the awesome Han and Leia, for which she always pulled out her thermal detonator prop and he his blaster.

An hour before the night’s big ball, she told him she had to go back to her room to get ready. Being from out of town, she and her friends had gotten a hotel room, whereas since Clint and his squad went to school in downtown Atlanta, they just hung around waiting.

>>>>>-------------->

HAWKEYE39: star wars or star trek?

BLACKWIDOW34: J.J. Abrams.

HAWKEYE39: yeah yeah whatever. :-) you still have to have a fave

BLACKWIDOW34: :-p Depends on the day. I really do love them both.

HAWKEYE39: okay favorite trek?

BLACKWIDOW34: TNG, but I really like Voyager, too

HAWKEYE39: um srsly?

BLACKWIDOW34: Yes, seriously! I hate all the hate that show gets!! First female commander, realistic couple that grew over the entirety of the series, the Borg, Species 8472 – good stuff, ya hater!!

HAWKEYE39: dont hold back – tell me how you realy feel

BLACKWIDOW34: You bet, buster!

HAWKEYE39: ive always prefrrd kirk. we all know hed kick picards ass

BLACKWIDOW34: True enough. Picard would try to negotiate as Kirk sent a photon torpedo right through his flux capacitor.

HAWKEYE39: hells yeah!

>>>>>-------------->

Clint waited anxiously for Natasha to show up. His friends were hanging out nearby – Tony was even dancing, which had to be seen to truly be appreciated. But all Clint could do was wait for Natasha to appear. He understood why she hid her appearance today and while he wished he could have kissed her, he understood. All he cared about was that she’d been there.

As he waited, he saw the most beautiful girl he had ever seen in person making her way across the floor towards him. She was dressed as Princess Leia just like Natasha had been – from Jabba’s palace and everything – but this girl was wearing the slave bikini. And she had a rockin’ body. Even as Clint thought it, he knew he didn’t care. This girl might be beautiful on the outside, but it didn’t matter – she didn’t have Natasha’s humor, or her psychotic hatred of Gaius Baltar, or her genius with LINUX – an amazing figure and beautiful face didn’t make up for everything she was lacking. It didn’t matter that he didn’t know what Natasha looked like – she was still better.

As he watched her, though, he noticed someone trailing behind her. Everyone was looking at her, of course – this woman drew eyes every single step she took. This one guy, though, dressed as sleazy Luke Skywalker, of all things, had a predatory gleam in his eye that Clint recognized from some of the slimier guys he knew in the circus.

Princess Leia picked up speed to reach him as Luke reached out a hand to grab her shoulder.

“Dude!” Clint yelled over the music. “Leave my girl alone!”

“Sorry, man, didn’t know she was taken,” the guy yelled back – his sullen tone audible even over the pounding bass beat. The perv melted back into the crowd.

“And this is why I resent how I look. I should be able to wear something that makes me feel sexy without getting mauled,” Leia complained.

“Natasha?!” Clint asked in amazement.

“You didn’t know it was me?” she was clearly shocked. “But – why did you help me?”

“Because that guy was an ass!” Clint pulled her into an entrance alcove where the curve of the wall somewhat muffled the loud music. “I wasn’t going to let him get anywhere near a girl who didn’t want him there.”

“So you only did it because of how I look,” Natasha said, deflating somewhat.

“I did it because you needed help,” he corrected her.” And actually, as you came over here I thought that it didn’t matter how pretty you were – you had nothing on my girl because she’s funny and smart and she gets me and I would rather have than that empty looks any time.”

Natasha looked at him in surprise.

“Of course, it’s awesome that it’s you – don’t get me wrong!” Clint smiled. “It rocks that you’re not empty looks, because you know – good for you! For me it’s not about how you look. You’re Natasha`, and I get to keep hanging out with you. Forever if you want.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” she grinned so wide that Clint thought she might hurt herself.

And there in an alcove at Dragon*Con, techno punk pounding in the background, Han Solo and Princess Leia kissed for the first time.

But not the last.

>>>>>-------------->

TXT from BLACKWIDOW34: Did you get sour cream? I can’t finish the enchiladas without the sour cream.

TXT from HAWKEYE39: theyre in the bag

TXT from BLACKWIDOW34: You know Steve will be early. He always is. Especially if he knows Peggy will be there.

TXT from HAWKEYE39: im walking home – not even five minutes promise

TXT from BLACKWIDOW34: Can’t wait to hear about the interview!

TXT from HAWKEYE39: they wont love me as much as initech loves you

TXT from BLACKWIDOW34: Whatever! I’m looking forward to us being TWINKies. Cause we’re awesome like that.

TXT from HAWKEYE39: twinkies?

TXT from BLACKWIDOW34: A guy at work said that today – two income no kids.

The door opened and Clint entered carrying several grocery bags.

Natasha continued the conversation without a pause.

“I told him that right now I’m just a sugar mama with a college hottie boyfriend. He seemed impressed.”

Clint walked up behind Natasha, put his arms around her, and kissed her neck in that one spot he knew she loved.

She melted at the same time she laughed and said, “I have to do this! Our friends will be here in 45 minutes.”

Clint kissed her way down up to her ear. “Which means Steve will be here in 30 minutes.”

Natasha laughed as she pulled away and stirred her enchilada sauce.

As he leaned back and handed her the sour cream, she informed him, “It’s a good thing I love you.”

“Hell, yeah, it is,” agreed Clint. And with that, he kissed her on the cheek and went to set the table.

After all, their friends were coming over to their apartment. They wanted them to feel welcome.


/the end