we made the mutual decision to go to this party separately and when i arrived there was this asshole flirting with you and i’m trying not to make it obvious i’m seething with jealousy but it’s really difficult.

you’re pissed off at me and start yelling in frustration but I think you just said “I didn’t plan to fall in love with you” and I really need you to rewind.

(and listen, Clint doesn't have his hearing aids in, so he's REALLY unsure what the hell is happening right now but how do you ask your best friend and partner if they just said THAT?!)

I love ALL your prompts! *heart eyes*

1930s film noir Avengers. In black-and-white. :D

Knock yourselves out with art or story - or both!

I know I said I'd water your plants, but one of your potted plants just told me their name was Groot and I wonder whether that means I'm concussed.

OMG!

Brooklyn 99 AU/Crossover

Clint has to liaison with the 99 and Peralta instantly fanboys out

Natasha and Rosa discuss weapons

Natasha retires to the Farm with Clint & family, how does she adjust to civilian life?

(could be an Endgame AU or not)

Kate goes to Natasha for advice on how to get Clint to stop being so grumpy

[A/N: HUGE props to alistra for providing me with... uhhh... all of the "partner but actually [wink wink] partners" things here :D also thanks to gsparkle for trying to help despite my entirely unclear question :facepalm: ]

Kate breaks into Natasha's apartment. She claims Clint gave her the keys but Natasha still considers this a minor crime.

"Natasha. I need help with Clint."

"Don't we all."

"He's a grumpy ass." Kate continues, "at least to me. He's not as grumpy around you. What am I doing different?"

"Clint handling is its own unique skill." Natasha says gravely.

Kate throws herself on her knees in front of Natasha, "Teach me, wise master!"

"Alright, alright. You might want to sit on an actual chair for this." Natasha waits for Kate to get off the floor to continue, "First ting, have you ever brought Clint coffee? It's like his number one olive branch slash coping mechanism."

Kate shakes her head in the negative.

"That's an easy win. Just remember that he takes at least 5 sugars in his coffee. More if the cup is larger than the ones from the bodegas."

"That's insanely specific…" Kate says, taking out her phone to take notes.

"It took me literal years to figure out his order. I think he's in denial over how much sugar he drinks."

"What else've you got?" Kate leans in.

"Hmm… how do you usually sit together?"

"Uhh…?"

"Clint likes to keep his eyes on any potential sniper perches. I like to have my eye on any exits so sometimes we need to sit on the same side of a table or something."

"Oh… Okay, I thought that was going to be something weird but that makes sense."

Natasha raises an eyebrow at Kate.

Kate holds up her hands in front of her as a defense, "Alright, alright! Sorry. Got anything else for me?"

"I assume you already know how Clint likes his bow balanced so we can skip that one…"

"Wait he lets you touch his bow? He lets you use his bow?!" Kate leans forward so quickly, Natasha has to reach out and steady the table so her tea doesn't spill.

She frowns, "He doesn't let you? What if you needed a backup in a fight?"

"Clint says the only other person he'd let touch his bow is someone he trusted more than himself. I assumed he meant like… that as a metaphorical thing. But he literally meant you. Wait, holy shit are you two dating?! And this is how I find out?!"

"No. This is all standard partner stuff." Natasha frowns more sharply at Kate.

"Natasha. He trusts you more than anyone else. He lets you mess with his bow. Next you're going to tell me you know his secret fletching method."

Natasha blinks. "Of course I know it."

"What! He said he'd only tell his soul mate that!"

".…I think he was just having you on…"

Natasha's mind is turning overtime. This is a lot of new information about Clint when she thought she'd had all of the new information one could have about Clint.

"He was very drunk at the time." Kate insists.

"Why…. Were you discussing fletching while drunk?"

"Well I knew he kept it a secret and I figured getting him drunk would… loosen his lips. Sink some ships, you know."

Natasha stares at Kate. Kate stares back.

"I really don't think we're dating. This is all normal partner stuff…"

Kate tilts her head in a way that more clearly indicates 'please, you're totally dating' clearer than any words could.

"Tash." Bucky emerges from the other room in her apartment, his hair in disarray from just getting out of bed, "We've all been dating for ages. I was raised in the 40s. You think I'd be staying here just as 'partners'?"

Edited (forgot to add a title....) 2020-09-08 07:04 am (UTC)

Cuddling, could be platonic or not.

“I told you this would happen”

Strike Team Delta Mission-Fic - Writer’s choice of the timeline (pre-MCU, mid-MCU, etc) and mission. I just want old-school Clint and Natasha being badass Agents of Shield.

don't tempt me.... :P

Eric Church - Knives of New Orleans Inspired Fic: Every time I listen to this song, I think of Clint trying to bring Natasha in before she was SHIELD.

Clint goes to bring Natasha in and ends up on the run from SHIELD.

Because of reasons (TM), Rocket needs to lay low for a while.

That he does this in the "Everybody chose to live here" Avengers Tower is... not ideal.

Bonus points for Natasha & Rocket snark.

......... omg yes

The last time anyone had seen Clint, he'd been wondering out loud just what was behind that door on the 47th floor. The door on which Tony had stuck a hand-drawn label, "Enter at Your Own Risk. And yes that means you, too, Barton!!!"

Edited 2020-07-27 09:40 pm (UTC)

When Laura asked for the divorce to run off with the family tax accountant, no one could have foreseen that the judge would give sole custody of the kids to Clint.

AKA, single dad Clint. For whatever reason...

So this is... Clint Barton: Single Dad and Clint Barton: Collector of Strays, persuading a young Natasha who's just joined SHIELD that she wants to be collected, with only a passing mention of Laura. Hope you enjoy! <3

Open House

When Natasha lands the jet in the middle of nowhere, Iowa, she seriously considers the possibility that this assignment is a joke. She double checks the GPS coordinates, but they match the ones she was given exactly. She hadn't thought that Nicholas Fury was the type, but she's heard of American hazing rituals and it’s the best explanation she can think of, because surely this isn't where the Director of SHIELD really expects her to meet the best data analyst in the business.

It's a farmhouse with an actual porch swing, like something out of a movie. There's an old car and a minivan parked by a barn. Random items litter the grass and the porch; a ball, a pair of child's shoes, a tricycle lying on its side. The front door is open and the noise escaping from inside sounds mostly like children.

"Have you seen my backpack?" someone shouts from upstairs - a young voice, male, just starting to break.

"Kitchen," a girl shouts back, overlapping with a man asking, "Do you have that form I had to sign?" and the wail of an annoyed small child. A dog barks. There’s a blast of music in a different part of the house followed by two other young people laughing, male and female. “Quentin!”someone complains.

Natasha considers walking away, but she's met contacts in stranger places. It's just they were exactly that: strange places. Not this… advertisement for the American family homestead.

She steps through the door and follows the sound of the man's voice, as he’s the occupant most likely to be her contact and most likely to pose the biggest threat, ending up in the doorway to the kitchen.

The man notices her immediately.

"Guest!" he calls out, continuing to spoon-feed a toddler sat in a highchair even as he alerts the rest of the house to her presence.

He looks to be in his late thirties or early forties, lines creasing the corners of his eyes and bracketing his mouth, wearing jeans and a purple t-shirt. He’s attractive for an older man, enough that if he were a mark she wouldn’t mind fucking him even though she’s been informed that’s ‘not a requirement’ in SHIELD, which she’s aware doesn’t mean that they won’t ask or expect it. He's unarmed, but his build and biceps, along with the awareness of his surroundings, are suspiciously better than average. That, along with the fact he doesn't seem at all surprised to see a stranger in a field suit with a gun holstered on each thigh appear in his house, makes her think that he might be her contact after all.

But then there are all the kids.

Continued on AO3 here

Natasha never thought that she would fall for a guy who wears sweatpants and drinks coffee from the pot.

Five times the Avengers tried to find out whether Clint and Natasha were an item.

Five times the Avengers tried to set Clint and Natasha up for a date.

things you said while we were driving

things you said when you thought i was asleep

things you said over the phone

things you said when you thought I was someone else

Clint and Natasha competing undercover in the latest season of the Great British Bake Off.

omg I desperately want to write something for this but no ideas are coming to mind..... I really love this prompt, though!!

I want you to want me
I need you to need me
I'd love you to love me

- Cheap Trick

I LOVE THESE!!! And I can picture the dress that goes with them and everything!! <3

It takes Clint a ridiculously long time to realize that Natasha buys her lingerie with him in mind.