Kate goes to Natasha for advice on how to get Clint to stop being so grumpy

[A/N: HUGE props to alistra for providing me with... uhhh... all of the "partner but actually [wink wink] partners" things here :D also thanks to gsparkle for trying to help despite my entirely unclear question :facepalm: ]

Kate breaks into Natasha's apartment. She claims Clint gave her the keys but Natasha still considers this a minor crime.

"Natasha. I need help with Clint."

"Don't we all."

"He's a grumpy ass." Kate continues, "at least to me. He's not as grumpy around you. What am I doing different?"

"Clint handling is its own unique skill." Natasha says gravely.

Kate throws herself on her knees in front of Natasha, "Teach me, wise master!"

"Alright, alright. You might want to sit on an actual chair for this." Natasha waits for Kate to get off the floor to continue, "First ting, have you ever brought Clint coffee? It's like his number one olive branch slash coping mechanism."

Kate shakes her head in the negative.

"That's an easy win. Just remember that he takes at least 5 sugars in his coffee. More if the cup is larger than the ones from the bodegas."

"That's insanely specific…" Kate says, taking out her phone to take notes.

"It took me literal years to figure out his order. I think he's in denial over how much sugar he drinks."

"What else've you got?" Kate leans in.

"Hmm… how do you usually sit together?"

"Uhh…?"

"Clint likes to keep his eyes on any potential sniper perches. I like to have my eye on any exits so sometimes we need to sit on the same side of a table or something."

"Oh… Okay, I thought that was going to be something weird but that makes sense."

Natasha raises an eyebrow at Kate.

Kate holds up her hands in front of her as a defense, "Alright, alright! Sorry. Got anything else for me?"

"I assume you already know how Clint likes his bow balanced so we can skip that one…"

"Wait he lets you touch his bow? He lets you use his bow?!" Kate leans forward so quickly, Natasha has to reach out and steady the table so her tea doesn't spill.

She frowns, "He doesn't let you? What if you needed a backup in a fight?"

"Clint says the only other person he'd let touch his bow is someone he trusted more than himself. I assumed he meant like… that as a metaphorical thing. But he literally meant you. Wait, holy shit are you two dating?! And this is how I find out?!"

"No. This is all standard partner stuff." Natasha frowns more sharply at Kate.

"Natasha. He trusts you more than anyone else. He lets you mess with his bow. Next you're going to tell me you know his secret fletching method."

Natasha blinks. "Of course I know it."

"What! He said he'd only tell his soul mate that!"

".…I think he was just having you on…"

Natasha's mind is turning overtime. This is a lot of new information about Clint when she thought she'd had all of the new information one could have about Clint.

"He was very drunk at the time." Kate insists.

"Why…. Were you discussing fletching while drunk?"

"Well I knew he kept it a secret and I figured getting him drunk would… loosen his lips. Sink some ships, you know."

Natasha stares at Kate. Kate stares back.

"I really don't think we're dating. This is all normal partner stuff…"

Kate tilts her head in a way that more clearly indicates 'please, you're totally dating' clearer than any words could.

"Tash." Bucky emerges from the other room in her apartment, his hair in disarray from just getting out of bed, "We've all been dating for ages. I was raised in the 40s. You think I'd be staying here just as 'partners'?"

Edited (forgot to add a title....) 2020-09-08 07:04 am (UTC)

I love this!

I'm so glad!!! ^_^

BWAHAHA! Love the little Bucky cameo at the end. *g*

I absolutely could not help myself 😇👼

I also spent the whole time writing imagining Bucky in the bedroom just like "oh my GOD how are they all so clueless??? am I-- the most out of touch with modern society person here-- the only one who knows this??????"

I would like to request an alternate POV from Bucky, please!

*enthusiastically adds this to my "bonus prompts" list* :D

That last line made me laugh out loud.

Love it! MOAR KATE AND NATASHA! That was great x

wooooo!

I love Kate but I feel like I never do her justice :D maybe the solution is writing more Kate :P

Yes, that is DEFINITELY the solution! Doooo it.

Yes, yes it is! :)

haha sorry I was no help on the question but i looooove this!!!

ohh not at all, like I said, I'm sorry I wasn't clearer with my question in the first place 💛💛💛

"You have to sleep with him," Kate grumped, throwing herself down on Natasha's couch as dramatically as possible. It was a risky gambit, confronting the Black Widow like this, but one she was willing to take. For Clint's sake. And her own.

Natasha slowly turned towards her and raised a brow. "Excuse me?"

"You have to, you know, make up with him and fuck him senseless so he's not so grumpy anymore."

"First, what makes you think we're fighting? Second, what makes you think we're sleeping together?" Natasha asked, ticking off the questions on her fingers. "Third, assuming either of those things are correct, what makes you think I'd listen to you about what I should or should not do about it? And fourth, get your damned feet off my leather couch."

Kate immediately swung her feet to the floor. She shot Natasha a look and did her damndest not to back down at her penetrating stare. "Ok, I get what you're saying, but --"

"No buts. Stay out of our business, Kate," Natasha snapped as she turned away towards the kitchen. Probably to get a nice calming cup of tea. Kate wondered if it would be rude to ask for something for herself. Something a little stronger. And alcoholic.

"You know, if you slept with him, maybe you wouldn't be so grumpy either," Kate mumbled, eyeing her retreating figure.

"I am not grumpy," Natasha snarled from the other room.

Kate gulped. Sure, Just like she and Clint weren't sleeping together. But she had a feeling she'd more than outstayed her dubious welcome at Natasha's and any more questions would lead to violence. She stood and wiped her sweaty hands on her jeans. "Sure. Ok. I'm just gonna let myself out now. Bye!"

-----

"So… you and Natasha. How's that going? Are you still fighting?" Kate asked Clint a few days later. He was barely awake, having just stumbled down into his kitchen despite that fact that it was already nine in the morning, but she'd helpfully made him a full pot of coffee and had even poured some into a mug for him.

"Katie-kate, you have got the worst timing," he said, but for once, he wasn't frowning at her. In fact, was that a smile on his face? And was that…She peered a little more closely at him. Unless she was mistaken, that was a woman's t-shirt stretched awkwardly across his chest.

She gaped at him. "Oh. My. God. Do you have a woman upstairs?"

Natasha came sauntering down from the loft, a grin on her face as well. "I told you, Kate. Stay out of our business."

ahahahah omg go Kate!! she was just trying to help, Natasha, cut her some slack :P

They would've got there eventually, but I think the extra push from Kate got them there faster. *g*

Haha awww I love it.

::curtsies:: THANK YOU!
(now if my brain could just focus on Enemies with Benefits, we would all be better!)

lol, this was a good one! :D