Hawkeye meets the good folks of the Brooklyn 99.

I'm a wee overstuffed, but I'll bite:

Everyone just assumed Natasha couldn't and/or didn't want to have children.

Clint squeezed Natasha's hand just a little tighter as they stared at the pink line appearing in front of them.

Natasha laid her head on Clint's shoulder and let out a sigh of relief.

"This is really happening."

Edited 2014-08-16 12:18 am (UTC)

With Clint's hands on her shoulders providing her strength, Natasha announced to the rest of the team that she was, in fact, 13 weeks pregnant. This news was greeted not with the usual cacophony of snarky comments, high fives, rousing toasts, and general mayhem, but with teary-eyed stares, slack jaws, and stunned silence. As her smile slowly grew, she instinctively rested her hand on her midsection, looked up at Clint and whispered, "Wait 'til we tell 'em it's twins."

"Holy heirs and moppets, is that a kid--is that your kid?" Tony sputtered, his eyes darting frantically between Mrs and Mr Black Widow and the miniature assassin-ette with the Romanoff hair and Barton smirk.

Assassin-ette looked him up and down with eyes that were disturbingly similar to her (oh, god, Tony was going to have to admit it) mother's, murmuring something in Russian that had Barton, of all people, shaking his head and scolding, "Katechka," even while Romanoff nodded and answered, "Da."

The worst part about it was that Tony couldn't even call the whole reproduction thing all that disturbing, not when everybody was looking at everyone else with eyes that shone with love and pride and all the things Tony had spent a lifetime watching for on his own, so he just sighed and continued on his way to the lab, shaking his head at the giggles that followed behind him.

Edited 2014-08-17 12:27 am (UTC)

Three HYDRA agents walk into a bar. It happens to be Hawkeye's favourite.

"Don't, Clint. Don't say it," Natasha warns, but Clint cracks his knuckles, grinning, and ignores her.

"Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, they walk into mine."

Edited 2014-08-15 09:24 pm (UTC)

When Natasha finally agrees to move-in to Stark/Avengers Tower, Clint is consulted to make sure her suite is appropriate for the one and only Black Widow.

"No, no, and no."

"But she likes weapons!" Tony protested, quite justifiably in his opinion: Natasha regularly bristled with lethal items, including but not limited to literally any object on her person.

Clint just shook his head and repeated, "No, Stark; she will not appreciate a gun display wall in her bedroom."

Edited 2014-08-15 09:29 pm (UTC)

When Clint is discovers that Natasha has finally agreed to move into the suite that Stark has designed for her, he waits till she is distracted with a mission then goes to the Tower.

He gets Stark to show him the work that he has put into it, frowns at what he sees and then promptly makes him redo it.

The tiny tired smile on her face when she finally sees the suite that will always be hers, makes a pleasant feeling settle into his gut.

These hips don't lie.

"Those hips better lie," Clint retorted heatedly.

Natasha shot him a look and demanded, "Excuse me, Agent Barton?"

"You sashay for every mark who's susceptible," he reminded her, "but last I checked, the only one who gets them is me."

"These hips don't lie," the soothsayer at the market by the castle wall insisted, as she peered into Natasha's herbal tea. "Hungarian rose hips are far more accurate in predicting the future than ordinary tea leaves. You will get married in Budapest, you and that nice-looking young man with the nice arms."

Edited 2014-08-16 12:21 am (UTC)

They never should've gotten Clint a houseplant.

"Clint, have you... have you stuck googly eyes onto that cactus?"

"His names is Clive and yes I did. He needs to be able to see, Natasha."

Pepper's not allowed to ground them (world threats go on and all that), so she gives them paperwork instead

"Shut up Clint Barton or I swear that I will have you transfer the card catalogue from the 60s into digital files!" Pepper says in a very dangerous tone of voice.

"You would not," Clint says aghast.

"Try me."

Tango, please?

"For the last time, Natasha, I can't dance."

Clint sounded almost desperate as he tried -- for the fifth time -- to talk Natasha out of participating in Coulson's latest morale-boosting idea for the annual SHIELD Valentine's Ball.

"Relax," she whispered, her tongue licking seductively into his ear, "all you have to do is the same thing as last night, except vertical."



Edited 2014-08-16 12:20 am (UTC)

No distance left to run.

They'd always known it would happen some day -- empty quiver, empty barrels, end of the line. Only one thing remain to do as the Skrulls close in, already chattering their triumph. Clint looks at Natasha, who smiles her silent agreement; he covers the hand holding the grenade with his own as she pulls the pin.

Clint and Natasha are forced to participate in some sort of horrid corporate-style team-building activity at SHIELD.

"What the fuck does that even mean, Corporate Retreat?"

Clint glares at Coulson, who is not offering much by the way of explanation, let alone help (unless you can count an apologetic shrug).

Natasha gives a feral grin into the security camera as she says, "Fury must be looking for the perfect time for you to test out that new arrowhead of yours, you know, the one with the sex pollen disguised as a stink bomb?"

Movie Night. Star Trek or Star Wars?

Everyone had a different opinion. Steve said Star Wars, while Bruce voted for Star Trek. But it was Natasha who got the final say.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith

"Agent Barton, do you have a lock on the target?" Coulson's mild but exasperated voice came over the comm, again.

Clint pulled the comm out of his ear and picked up his gaping jaw, though he prudently kept the arrow pointed in case this was one of those new fangled life model decoys Fury'd been going on about. "Honey?"

That time Natasha really regretted sneaking up on Clint

"Why were you sneaking up on me!?"

Natasha gapes at Clint, thanks to whom she's now practically a disco ball.

"Why do you have that much glitter?!"

Natasha goes clothes shopping for Clint

"You said it's your favourite colour. Do you have any idea how many men's stores I went to before I found something in purple?"

"I do like purple, Tash, but seriously ... a cardigan?"

JARVIS claims that Clint really does sleep in his suite at the Avengers Tower, but Natasha is the only Avenger who actually has any Hawkeye sightings.

Seen on Tumblr: "As your girlfriend, I will make it my duty to turn you on at the most inappropriate of times."


Edited 2014-08-16 01:55 pm (UTC)

Well, I have a feeling that's not the first time she prompted this reaction from him:



Soooooo, what do you think would be another? XD

Edited 2014-08-16 02:04 pm (UTC)

When Clint entered the kitched at Avengers tower, his keen sense of perception detected three things. The first was the smoke that hung like a curtain over the stainless-steel La Cornue stove; the second was the smell of something that might have been possibly good, but for the process of carbonization to which it had been subjected. The third was Natasha Romanov, a dusting of flour on her hair and nose, looking forlorn at a recipe book, sighing "Why the hell didn't they say they meant Fahrenheit????"