It's a his and her Christmas (Dec. 25 and Jan 7.)

Clint thinks Natasha's being a grinch, but he's wrong

A very startling Avengers style secret santa

One of them fulfilling the other's secretly compiled wishlist

Every year since the age of six, Natalia Alianovna Romanova has secretly written the same letter to Santa (she started with St. Nicholas and got nowhere so she doubled down on Santa): Dear Santa, it’s been 24 years and I know I’ve been naughty but I really tried to be nice so you would bring me the only thing I really want – a family.

By a very odd, nearly impossible, twist of fate, Clint Barton saw the letter and became determined to show her that, not only did she always have him, but she had an extended – albeit exceptionally dysfunctional – loving family.

He had to all but knock her out to get her to the Tower on Christmas Eve, but she finally walked into the room and was greeted by a perfectly decorated tree with mountains of presents underneath, a feast fit for a queen, the friendly smiles of her extended team, his strong arm around her shoulder, and his loving voice whispering in her ear, “Santa says welcome to the family.”


Edited 2014-12-14 04:15 pm (UTC)

Instead of a stocking, Natasha fills up his quiver

Clint had been hoping for one day, just one day, where they wouldn't be called out to deal with other people's stupidity, where peace and goodwill to all might actually make an appearance, and where he could just do nothing but eat enough to compete with a super soldier and an Asgardian and watch movies with the team, but no.

And to add insult to injury when he went to suit up his quiver was full of arrows that he didn't recognize, which meant somebody had been messing with his shit without telling him and he had to grab his backup quiver, and of course it was fucking snowing outside and cold damn it.

It wasn't until they got back and he looked properly that he spotted the shiny purple bow and the gift tag that said, 'To Clint, for work and for fun, because you taught me life can be both,' and the little labels saying things like ‘glitter arrow’, ‘firework arrow’, and ‘boomerang arrow’, and then he had to laugh, and laugh some more, and went to explain to Natasha that if she wanted him to find his Christmas present on Christmas it was probably a good idea to move it out of the ready room, just in case there came a Christmas day where peace and goodwill happened after all.


Edited 2014-12-12 10:58 pm (UTC)

Nobody should be alone on Christmas, even when they're on assignment.

What do you buy for the spy who has everything?

Clint wasn't like Natasha; he had everything and then some: a brother at the FBI he still kept in friendly contact with, friends, job security, a warm home that was home and not safeouse, and the freedom to do anything he wanted in life.

She lingered at the shops too long searching for his Christmas present, even spending mission hours she could afford to check out stores in other countries, but nothing seemed right until a tiny hideaway jewelry shop gave her an idea.

She was awake before he was, sitting up in the bed and leaning over him so he could see the tiny silver arrow dangling from her neck when he woke and easily read her lips when she said, "I love you."

Pepper is amused at how hard Clint and Natasha try to not enjoy the holiday -- and fail.

because my brain just gave me about 1K words worth of plot bunny. Must reign it in...

Which is to say, awesome prompt!

Edited 2014-12-12 10:20 pm (UTC)

They love it, all of it—Pepper can tell: the lights and the Christmas sweaters and the sappy cards that Natasha scowls at before they find their way to the top of the mantel as if she snuck them there in the middle of the night (good chance she did) and the mistletoe (they roll their eyes beforehand and Clint rubs the back of his neck afterward, but Pepper has detected a faint, pleased smile playing on Natasha's mouth after a kiss too gentle and sweet to not be sincere) and the hot chocolate (it always goes down in inches after Strike Team Delta stumbles in after dark from an assignment) and even the pictures Tony keeps claiming are memories they'll want for the rest of their lives (Pepper pretends she didn't notice the picture of Clint and Steve in Santa hats tucked into Natasha's wallet).

Clint and Natasha, despite all huffing and puffing and groaning and moaning and skipping out of every shopping and wrapping party they can possibly skip out of, love Christmas.

Pepper expects to be the only one down there at midnight on Christmas eve, but she's not and to her surprise (though it shouldn't be), Clint and Natasha are working by the glow of Tony's overboard Christmas lights, moving with all the stealth that superspies can bring, and arguing over how much and where or gleefully anticipating together with a wealth of exchanged glances as they decorate the tree.

candles

Natasha wants real candles on the Christmas tree and all of Clint's protests against the fire hazard don't seem to stop her a wit.

"I can survive a fire, Barton," she informs him, clipped and final, as she fastens on the tiny holders.

"You were also tossed out the window, Romanov," he reminds her, but then resigns himself with a sigh since it is well established fact that Natasha listens to experience, not reason.

black and white

Every Christmas Eve, like clockwork, Clint brings out "the classics," his black and white Christmas movie collection and proceeds to marathon them from the communal Avengers couch.

The first time Tony complained, wanting some input on the playlist, Natasha sent him a glare, ordered JARVIS to be a good little AI and protect the tv from Tony, then snuggled in on said couch next to Clint, where they looked for all the world like a couple of kids using each other for pillows.

Tony shut up and that was good because Christmas is one of Clint's only good childhood memories and he's been watching these with her since he brought her in, and she's not about to let Tony add a raised voice to the background in their head of peace and safety that It's a Wonderful Life brings.

Clint brings the turkey. From his farm.

Suprisingly Tony isn't the one who goes overboard with decorations.

The startled yelp that cut through the Tower was quickly followed by a shout of pain, a swear, and then: "Tasha--DAMMIT!"

When the assembled members of the Avengers team that happened to be home scrambled out into the living area, they found Clint Barton hopping up on and down on one foot while trying to pry a piece of glass out of other, while in the background the ghoulishly grinning "Ninja Santa Surprise!" that Natasha had sweet-talked Thor into setting up by the fireplace ho-ho-ho'd his merry way through laughter over the broken string of Christmas lights the archer had somehow managed to trip over.

"Hm, maybe next year I won't buy my decorations from the villain warehouse in Romania," Natasha said, wincing apologetically as Clint's glare only deepened.

Do you wanna build a snowman? ;)

"Do you wanna build a snowman?" Clint asked, bright-eyed and dressed annoyingly to the Christmas nines for snowy outdoors play.

Natasha stared at him for a moment, then huffed out, "I'm reading, Barton; go away."

But "C'mon, Tash, it's a contest and Stark claims he's gonna win," and it was fact well known that Natasha would never let Stark win over Clint on a matter of pride, so down went her book and she let him haul her outside to build.

Hanukka party at Phil's house?

Inspiration from texts from last night (and tumblr): If I can't strip to Santa Baby then why even have Christmas.

"We took a vote as a team and it was decided your propensity for nudity was a little unsettling, Barton, so yes, the ban on Christmas-music-related stripping remains in effect."

"...Tasha, back me up here?"

"You do own a surprising number of tear-away pants and—oh, don't look at me like that, you brought this on yourself when you stole my red minidress to complete the Santa Baby act."

First Christmas with a baby in the tower. (Whose baby? You decide!)

Natasha was the calm one with the simple orders, such as, "Keep mini-Stark away from the lights, please."

"That's-a-baby-hazard-what-are-you-thinking-no-tinsel-allowed-Steve!" Clint ordered in a stream so rapid even Natasha blinked as she took a moment to interpret.

He grumbled as he went back to work on the tree, hanging baubles with surprisingly good taste while Steve packed up the box of tinsel, blushing furiously, and took it out of the room past Pepper's apologetic smile.

Clint introduces Natasha to cozy Christmas Eve. There is even a fireplace involved.

"It's Christmas," Clint informs her stubbornly, as if that is reason enough to attempt building a fire in their pitiful safehouse fireplace while outside, police are searching for anyone matching the description of two foreign operatives dressed for combat.

But Natasha has to admit her partner isn't as crazy as he seems when twenty minutes later, she finds herself snuggled in a warm blanket with a cup of hot cocoa as they sit together in front of the fire while Clint reads the Christmas story aloud in flawless Dutch from the appropriately native Bible.

The police who knock on their door twenty minutes after that apologize profusely for disturbing the newlyweds' poor but cozy Christmas and go away into the night.

The rest of the Avengers are extremely surprised by the assassins' gifts to each other.

"What'd you think I was going to give her, a pair of knives or something when I don't get her friend of a friend discount?" Clint demanded in heated irritation at their surprise.

"No, um, we just thought..." Steve said, then just trailed off and shrugged helplessly, unable to articulate why their gifts to each other were so completely unexpected.

But the soft plush teddy bear that Natasha was cuddling under one arm with a deadly glare just begging anyone to make fun of her for it and the ridiculously silly purple and green knitted beanie on Clint's head, reportedly knitted by the one and only Black Widow, with love, were decidedly not what any of the Avengers had expected.

Christmas shopping is The Worst.

Natasha looks at the mafioso's body with disdain; the feeling of his neck snapping between her thighs cannot make up for the dozens of lives he's ruined with the trafficking ring he's been running for the last decade.

Her eyes fall on the golden Rolex on the man's wrist; it reminds her that Clint could really use a new watch for Christmas, and for a moment she is tempted.

But no matter how much Natasha hates Christmas shopping, she knows that this probably isn't quite what Pepper had in mind when she'd rolled her eyes and suggested she should just pick something up at Target.

Edited 2014-12-13 01:44 pm (UTC)