Hi All, this is threat for any questions, queries, and just excited chatter :)

Yay! I just sent you an e-mail about this, and here it is!! A+ customer service!!! :D

The day Clint found out that Natasha is allergic to chocolate.

*gasps* The horror!

Some time post Winter Soldier...

Clint: So you destroyed a hellicarier. I've done that.
Nat: You nearly blew up a hellicarier. I destroyed three.
Clint: Nat!
Nat: Too soon?
Clint: *mumbles* ...you helped to blow up three. I could have blown up three if I'd had competent help, dammit.

In which nothing is ever a competition, honest.

Clint and Nat are as part of a SHIELD task/are hired by someone to test the security somewhere (Stark Industries, the White House, anywhere you like) by breaking in

Someone (Tony? Probably Tony) decides that Natasha and Clint have been working too hard or haven't been able to spend much time together lately, and so as a treat sets them up for a nice meal or a show or whatever as a surprise date night for Valentine's Day. It's sweet, but Natasha and Clint aren't actually together. (Yet.)

(repost from last year - totally allowed *grins*)

Fake Wedding as an undercover sting operation to catch a bunch of bad guys (a la this actual thing that happened).

(another repost, because this still amuses me)

“You locked yourself out your apartment and you’re really cute and I can help, please don’t ask why I’m carrying lock picks” AU

I love everything about this.

Posing as an upper class American couple, in a sailing vacation in Ibiza. Or Capri. Or somewhere else where Natasha will have the chance to wear the huge sunhat and Clint will be utterly miserable dressed in mariniere shirts.

And after the mission is done, they just take the yacht and disappear for a week of R&R and Fury almost has an aneurysm because this fucking thing costs a fortune, Barton. - "I know sir, she handled like a dream."

I WILL KEEP REPOSTING THIS UNTIL SOMEONE DOES IT :D

Well, it's not fic - but here you go!

"What do you mean, you don't have any clean underwear?"

Natasha learns to shoot a bow.

Look, they can do subtle, but after years of sexual frustration and the whole Barton-has-been-compromised thing, they have kind of decided to embrace their feelings. Finally.

(Five times someone caught them in the act in the Avengers Tower.)

Clint likes the smell of his shampoo in Natasha's hair.

Five times Natasha blew off a (possible) date with Clint, and then there was the time when she didn't realize they were having one and it actually was a lot more pleasant than she'd thought possible.

timely: an Olympics AU!

Every time I hear this Eric Church song I think of earlier Clint and Natasha. Maybe early Clint is with SHIELD hunting Natasha Clint and Natasha. I would love something that uses this song as a theme.

Clint’s dreams take a sudden and unexpected turn from their usual nastiness to sappy scenarios with none other than his current mark: the Black Widow. Fast forward a number of years and those dreams return. This time they feel less random and more prophetic. Oh, and guess who’s having the same dreams?

Matching heart/Valentines underwear and/or pjs.

Tony stops dead in the doorway and squints.

“Are you trying to tell us something?” he asks, gesturing at them both.

Natasha looks down at herself as if she has no idea what he’s talking about. Takes in her oversized pyjama shirt covered in hearts. The pyjama shirt that matches Clint’s pyjama bottoms pretty suspiciously.

Clint hates that she bought it oversized because, he grumbled, “people will think they’re mine.” But hey, he’s still wearing them.

“Oh yes,” Natasha says, in her most patronising tone, “these heart patterned pyjamas symbolise mine and Barton’s undying love for each other, which we decided to broadcast for the world to see on this, the most romantic of holidays.”

Tony squints harder. “No really.”

Natasha raises an eyebrow in return.

“No really,” she parrots back.

She’s not sure she’s seen Tony look this confused ever.

“Believe the liar when she talks,” Clint says from where he’s half watching the Dog Cops Valentine’s Special.

Tony looks even more confused. He opens his mouth to speak several times, but nothing comes out. Eventually he manages a, “uh-huh,” before abruptly turning to leave.
Natasha watches him go.

“Our undying love, Tasha?” Clint says with a smirk.
“Really?”

“Well,” she says, moving to sit next to him on the couch. “I would die for you.”

Clint laughs. “That’s not even close to what I meant, but cool.”

Natasha stares at the side of his face, watching the light from the TV reflected in his eyes. Lieutenant Whiskers is bumbling his way through asking DI Chow on a date.

“Ancient Russian proverb,” she says suddenly. “Pyjamas symbolise undying love.”

Clint snorts. “You could have picked a better pattern though.”

“It was hearts or lipstick and kisses.”

“Gendered clothing is weird,” Clint remarks, pulling a face. “I’ll buy them next time. I saw some covered in cartoon handcuffs.”

“No, you didn’t,” Natasha says, rolling her eyes.

Clint shrugs and grins at her, before slinging his arm around her back.

DI Chow has said yes and Lieutenant Whiskers looks thrilled. Natasha leans again Clint and settles in.

Edited 2018-02-24 03:15 pm (UTC)

A regularly-scheduled sparring session happens to fall on Valentine’s Day. Things get “interesting.” Writer’s choice on the interpretation of interesting (I’m getting a “kiss with a fist” vibe, but give it your own spin).

BETTY!!!! Welcome back!!

Cop/petty criminal AU

OH. Which would be which..nah, petty criminal would be Clint ;)

Please don't say you love me, cos I might not say it back - Please Don't Say You Love Me, Gabrielle Aplin

Someone keeps sending Natasha anonymous Valentines gifts, just they're really awful and she has no idea who to punch to make them stop.

Five times people try and set Clint and Nat up for Valentine's Day (and one time they succeed).

Man, that is shooting fish in a barrel. Tempting ... tempting...

'Cause you are the survivor of more than one life
And you're the only lover I had who ever slept with a knife
[You're My Waterloo, the Libertines]

Some kind of supernatural AU where you get literal hearts on Valentine's Day.

So, this didn't quite go as planned but i do hope you enjoy it! :D I loved the concept of literal hearts for anything and I thought this worked well, so yes. I'm going to wander off now and try to sleep. XD

~*~

It doesn't strike her as love, not really, until she finds her heart sitting atop her chest one morning. It's a week before Valentines and she knows what this means, knows what her body is trying to tell her.

Natasha sighs, closing her eyes and picks her heart off her chest, setting it aside and rolls onto her stomach to go back to sleep. It's too early for emotion, she decides. This is something to be sorted out after coffee, breakfast and more than anything, a lot more sleep.

But when she wakes up again and her heart is still there, beating softly against the wood of her night table, Natasha can't escape it. She knows what this means, she just has to let herself accept it.

~

Clint isn't a stupid guy, he knew what was coming. When he wakes up and his heart is waiting for him, he just sighs and shakes his head. Right, okay, time to talk about this, he supposes.

Lucky comes trotting in, giving him a dog-smile and moving to sniff at his heart. Clint pushes him away gently with one hand.

"Not for you, buddy. Sorry."

Lucky looks momentarily offended before loping off to go find something more interesting to sniff at. Clint chooses to go back to sleep. He's not putting off anything, really, he's just looking to get a bit more shut eye.

Even when his phone rings and he pretends not to hear it. It's not denial if no one's there to call you out on it.

~

Natasha is not actually going to throw her phone across a room, no matter what she wants to do. She's not pissed, not exactly, but she really doesn't want to put this off. Clint...Clint may not feel the same way. His heart could still be sitting in his chest, happily beating away in ignorance while she sits here miserable, staring at her own heart that simply sits there, going on as if nothing has changed now that it's out of her chest.

She hates this.

She hateshim.

Except she doesn't. She very clearly doesn't.

Her heart ticks and ticks, reminding her that it's there, that it can't be ignored and time is running down. Soon it will be Valentines and something is going to have to be done.

~

Clint avoids Natasha for most of the week, something he is weirdly proud of in this awkward 'I know what i should be doing but I'm just so good at not doing it' sort of way.

But Valentines Day comes around whether he wants it to or not, his heart is small and aching and Natasha has clearly had enough of him avoiding her.

"Clint," she says, climbing through his bedroom window, as he is emerging from a shower. "What the fuck?"

He sighs, closing his eyes and leans against the wall, still dripping, a towel around his waist.

"So," he says," I guess we're gonna have a talk now, huh?""

~

Natasha is watching him, trying to seem annoyed and doing a pretty good job at it. She has her heart in a jar, in a bag at her side and she can see Clint's sitting on a plate next to his bed.

She rolls her eyes, at the sight of it, then looks up at him. "You have something you wanna tell me, Barton?"

Clint shrugs at her, peeling off the towel. There's no shame between them, they've seen each other's scars, there's no secrets there. "Well, that depends."

"On what?" Natasha sits on thee edge of the bed, removing her bag and setting it on her lap.

"On if you've got something to tell me."

There's a long moment of silence before Natasha removes the heart from her bag. Setting it on the bed, she then looks straight at him.

"Well," Clint says. "I guess we do."

~

Clint and Natasha make the meal together, as is custom. They make a whole big production of it, but most of their focus is on the hearts. They take care in preparing each other's treating the organs with as much tenderness as they possibly can, wrapping theme up in leaves, searing them ever so carefully, making sure they were spiced perfectly.

Neither of them are amazing cooks but they knew what to do for this, knew how to take care of a heart that was going to be theirs.

When the food is done, they sit down on Clint's couch, propping their feet up on the coffee table, Clint watching Natasha while she watches the pair of hearts that are between them.

"I really don't want tot do the whole feeding each other thing," she says , looking up at him. "Can we just..."

"Eat like normal people?" Clint finishes. "Sure, I'm up for that."

Then she laughs a little and he laughs a little and they both know that if there were hearts int heir chests, they would be fluttering.

~

After the food is done, after their new hearts have settled in their chests, Natasha leans against Clint, her eyes closed.

They don't say anything, just lay there and listen to their bodies adjust to the new additions. Some people danced, other people fucked. Some other still raised adrenaline in some way just to feel their new hearts in their chest.

Clint and Natasha chose to to simply be with each other, comfortable and content, letting their hearts fall into time with one another and trusting their bodies to know what's best for them.

Incubus/succubus AU.