“That’s it isn’t it?”

He doesn’t answer, doesn’t change his breathing or even make eye contact but somehow she knows she’s hit a nerve.

“Ahhhh, so it is.” Her smile is cold and offers no sympathy. “The knight and his quest.”

“I’m no knight,” he says simply.

“A cowboy perhaps?” she laughs, girlish and delighted. “No matter. Two sides, same coin. Both foolish, both lost.”

He tells himself it’s just the morphine talking and makes a point of ignoring her as he finishes dressing the last of her wounds.

“You think you know me?” she says after a lengthy silence, and the playfulness has faded into something else. “You think you’ve figured it out?” Her eyes are hard even as her voice drops to a purr. “Did you want to be the handsome man who saves me from the monsters?”

He stills and looks at her. She reaches out with her good arm and pulls him close, moving much too fast for a girl who should be barely conscious.

“Just don’t forget,” she says, fingers searching for a hold on his vest, pulling him towards her with unnatural strength, “cowboy, knight-errant, whatever you are—” She leans forward until their lips are nearly touching, until his vision is filled with only her, until the smell of blood floods his senses like a perfume.

“Don’t ever forget,” she whispers in that too-perfect English, caressing his cheek with blood-stained fingers, “…that I am one of them.”

A hairsbreadth away from a kiss, she passes out in his arms, blood red hair falling across her face, red still trickling from her mouth and a faint red smile on her lips.



He lays her down, watches her for a long time. Reminds himself that she’s a spy and a liar and a kid who grew up too hard and too fast. Reminds himself that words are weapons like anything else, just another piece of armor. He pays them no mind.

But as he watches the sun come up, he realizes she’s right about one thing—he is lost.


Edited 2012-07-31 02:56 am (UTC)

Oh.

This is just...

“I’m no knight,” he says simply.

I love this so much. :)

OMG, I'm so glad you like it! This one gave me fits. I wrestled and wrestled with the language. So much imagery and so many ideas to fit in. O_o

(and he totally is. i mean, he TOTALLY is. she tells him straight up not to try and save her, she throws down the gauntlet, but of course he will. of course. he will. he can't do anything else.)

Edited 2012-07-31 03:07 am (UTC)

Yay, you posted, and it is GLORIOUS!

“Such the gentleman,” she says dryly. “He shoots me, then puts me back together.”

I love this line. Natasha's so cynical and so right at the same time.

“Ahhhh, so it is.” Her smile is cold and offers no sympathy. “The knight and his quest.”

“I’m no knight,” he says simply.

“A cowboy perhaps?” she laughs, girlish and delighted. “No matter. Two sides, same coin. Both foolish, both lost.”

And this reduced me once again to happy squeaking. It's so THEM. And it's Clint in a nutshell. GAAAAAAAAAAH.

The writing of this section is particularly gorgeous, especially the dialogue and Clint's observations.

Thank you, my friend. Thank you so much. And you provided such a magnificent line to jumpstart this entire section. I just hope I did it justice.

(srsly, it's a tremendous meta/commentary/thesis statement. just GAH. feels.)

You did so much justice! Justice was well and truly served!

How much do I love this? Let me count the ways:
1. Nat is fucking awesome in this. I love the old-school-Russian-spy vibe I'm getting off her here.
2. Her bravado.
3. Her 'Don't ever forget that I am one of them' kills me. Because of course he has already forgotten, in his way.
4. Everything about Clint. Because he is lost and he will try to save her and he doesn't understand that he will or why and it is going to huuuuurt.
5. I need to give up counting or I'll be here forever.

Basically, I buy this. I so buy this.

I love the old-school vibe too. This whole series has turned into a kind of noir epic and I dig the hell out of that (and I love noir like whoa.) And it just fits this Cronenburg-ish world somehow.

And gawd, she so reads his mail right here. She knows exactly what he is (and in my mind, she knows she's in serious trouble-- he is after all, her kryptonite), but she won't give up the high ground. And he last line kills me too. And I love how it's true in some ways and very not true in others as this series goes on, and how in many cases it's even more true about him.

Edited 2012-08-04 03:52 pm (UTC)

GLARG Where is the rest? You keep killing me with these awesome fics...

Well, as you know my friend, in this sense, the rest is literally a work in progress (and an out of order work in progress at that.) ;)

But I'm so glad you're along for the ride. <3

**twirls you**

*wibbles*

**huggles you**

Ohhh!

“Don’t ever forget,” she whispers in that too-perfect English, caressing his cheek with blood-stained fingers, “…that I am one of them.”

...just perfect.

Thank you. :)

That was the first thing that popped into my head when I saw sugar_fey's amazing prompt. <3

This is wooooonderful. I love the image of him helping sew up the injuries he caused. It feels... like foreshadowing of how they will interact in the future.

Thank you, my darling! There is so much foreshadowing going on here, this whole fic is practically all foreshadowing-- and setting up themes. And yes, I love what you've pointed out with the injuries, him causing them and then trying to heal them. Also the fact that his injuries are so carefully placed and so well thought out, even this early on, I dunno, I gives me strange and shivery (and slightly wrong) feels...

Ooooh, delicious.

Thank you. :)

So, I'm coming back to this one, because of some things I ran across today that made me think of this part again:

“That’s it isn’t it?”

He doesn’t answer, doesn’t change his breathing or even make eye contact but somehow she knows she’s hit a nerve.

“Ahhhh, so it is.” Her smile is cold and offers no sympathy. “The knight and his quest.”

“I’m no knight,” he says simply.

...

“You think you know me?” she says after a lengthy silence, and the playfulness has faded into something else. “You think you’ve figured it out?” Her eyes are hard even as her voice drops to a purr. “Did you want to be the handsome man who saves me from the monsters?”

...

“Don’t ever forget,” she whispers in that too-perfect English, caressing his cheek with blood-stained fingers, “…that I am one of them.”


I was poking at Arthurian legend today, (on wikipedia, because I'm more of a classical mythology girl than an Arthurian girl, but I was curious) and ran across the questing beast / Pellinor section and this jumped out at me:

"The Perlesvaus offers an entirely different depiction of the Questing Beast than the best known one, given above. There, it is described as pure white, smaller than a fox, and beautiful to look at. The noise from its belly is the sound of its offspring who tear the creature apart from the inside" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Questing_Beast#Other_appearances)

and

Son of King Pellam and brother of Kings Pelles and Alain, he is most famous for his endless hunt of the Questing Beast ... A memorable portrayal of King Pellinore comes from T. H. White's The Once and Future King, where he is a bumbling but endearing old man who can't give up his search for the "Questin' Beast" lest the poor creature die of loneliness. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pellinore)

Pellinor of course also being the Fisher King/Wounded King, and I need to pick the brains of my Arthurian girls, because there are FEELS there.

Oh wow. That's a fascinating take on things. I like these feels that you speak of.... :o

o_o

I've said it before but I'll say it again: your Natasha is perfect. And so is Clint. Their dialogue, so fast, so much contained within everything they're saying. Pretty much what everyone else has said in the comments, I've not got the words to formulate it myself but I agree so much with all the comments.

Basically, I love this, and everything about it.

OMG thank you!! I really love writing her. I just... yeah. She's so complex and cool as hell but there's so much going on underneath the surface. SO MUCH.

And so many thanks on the dialogue stuff. It's by far my favorite thing to write and it just makes me squee so hard when other people like it--especially with these two who use less words than most. It needs to pack more of a punch.

*twirls you**


ALSO? 3300th comment. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

YOU BROKE ME.

Just like I was suspecting earlier I just HAD to start reading this because you made me curious. No matter that I'm supposed to sleep and get ready for the only 3 days off this summer or that I have mile long list of fics that I started reading and never finished (at least one is yours) or that i actually had things to write for change. But I AM NOT SORRY! Because this is great and I will end up spamming you tonight while running through the whole series and then I'll end up adding this to the never ending list of fics that i have to go back to and read in proper fashion.

btw, THANKS - who needs sleep when you have all the feelings?

**DANCES THE CRAZY FLAILY FLAILY DANCES OF THE RIDICULOUSLY HAPPY**


OMG HELLO YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! What are you doing here? I'm so glad you're here! Welcome to my latest obsession. I cannot get this verse out of my head. I warn you, it's a dark, wild ride but I think it's a good one. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!


Omg, we can talk about the feelings together. This series gives me so many feelings I can't even.

And spam away! MY BODY IS READY!!!!

**all the twirls**