Title: How Can I Help You Today
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A Corner Drugstore AU.

Clint and Natasha are Pharmacy Technicians. You know it's going to be a rough week when the first customer through the door makes you see red... and it's only Tuesday.

Of course, their issues are not singular. Everyone in the drug store has problems.

Snippet:
Clint swears he’s only been in Aisle Five for five minutes. Ten, tops. Three people have asked for Tylenol PM (has no one heard of the recall? That happened TWO FUCKING YEARS AGO?) without successfully finding it the first time with his instructions and he’s had to walk out to show them exactly where it is, each and every time. With his finger pointing at it. And sometimes moving the actual box. When they look at him with that look in their eyes that says that they don’t understand, he picks up the box of generic pain relief (SERIOUSLY! The recall was on the evening news of all the major networks for months!) and shows them where it says Similiar to Tylenol PM and then he explains how Tylenol PM is just acetaminophen and benadryl and they could get the brand name of both and take them together and... they never listen.

He’s counting off the exact number of steps it takes to get from the end of the aisle nearest the pharmacy counter so he can tell people how to get there without having to leave Natasha alone. Nothing good happens when Natasha gets left alone for very long.

The echoing “Excuse me?” and the muffled cry and amplified thump can be nothing good. “Steve,” Clint hollers as he goes running toward the back. He’s going to need back up if she’s gone after a customer again.

When he gets to the scene, Bruce is trying to assert himself between the red-haired girl and the older man. Clint wraps his arms around her waist and manhandles her away from the scene and into the back room. Steve comes to a screeching halt right behind him and helps Bruce pacify the man, getting him his prescriptions and drink of water.

“What was that?” Clint hisses as he sits Natasha on the ledge they use for everything from lunch room table to restocking counter. She doesn’t try to move away, only slumps in on herself, but he puts a hand on either arm to make sure she doesn’t get any ideas.

When she mumbles something, he uses a finger to lift her head up so they’re eye to eye. “What?”

“He came to the wrong window to pick up his prescriptions.”

Really, Clint knows he should read her the riot act for daring to treat a customer like that but it’s been days since her last encounter. Not enough time to forget the tirade he gave her last time but enough, obviously, to forget her promise.

“You just got here, Tasha. He was your third customer. It’s only Tuesday.”

She nods, miserable. “I really need this job.”

“I know you do. I’m the other half of your rent, remember?” He leans his head in until his forehead touches her bare collarbone. She smells like the orange cleaner she was using to clean off the counters earlier but nothing else. The one thing he loves about Natasha is that she always smells like herself. “You have to remember to smile at them, Tasha. Nothing else. Only smile.”

More at AO3 (http://archiveofourown.org/works/482409)

Ok, that? That was kind of brilliant and really hilarious. :D I <3 it.

Today, I told co-worker Beth that I'd posted it and her first response was, "So, can I jump over the counter the first time someone makes me mad? Is it acceptable now that there's something out there in writing?" She makes me laugh.

And thank you! *curtsies* It was so much fun to write! More so than I thought it would be, actually!

Oh. My. Thor. And suddenly I have this vision of writing them all as teachers, as that's what I do...seriously, it never clicked until now... Wow, the thought of how students would react to Ms. Romanoff. *is fascinated*

See??? This is downright muse-ness! :D (And I'm sure that's a word. Somewhere. In the world. ...) :D

The only reason it clicked with me is because I had one of those Tylenol PM moments and my first thought was "What would Natasha do right this moment?" and I was off and running. Co-worker Beth and I had so much fun coming up with ideas. I have enough for three or four more stories but just took the bestest and put them all in this one.

Yes, go and write the Teachers of Glory fic! Go! Go! Write like the wind, Bullseye! Have them being awesome while doing the mundaneness of life!

*parks and rec flower shower gif* as someone who's employment involves customer service i appreciate this fic like woah. because how many times have i wanted to jump over the counter and strangle someone for their stupidity? like woah.

It seems like a once-an-hour activity on some days!

Thanks so much!

This is hilarious and brilliant. It's cheered me right up! Grinnig forever at Natasha's interaction with customers XD And Clint's brilliant approach to managing things in the shop, hoodied youths in particular. Also Bruce and Steve, perfect <3 Love!

Thank you! It was so much fun to write! And that Clint part gave me background!pheels but I'm refusing to listen to them *hands in ears* because that would be a continuation and I know it wouldn't be nearly as funny so it would only bother me. Maybe the history/background will come out later. We'll see!

I seem to have missed some of your fills for me for whatever reasons, sorry :( but now that I'm getting to read them I'm enjoying them a great deal!

It reads like you had great fun writing this one. Was it theaputic? *grins*. Having worked in retail I can easily envisage the trials and tribulations of customers and dealing with suppliers and what have you, but I didn't really need to think back because you bring the wierdness of the reality to life wonderfully. Had me grinning from ear to ear! And I loved all the touches that are uniquely Avengers, especially Natasha being prepared with a another phone after Bruce destroys it and how she handles the supplier LOL. And Clint's tactics for dealing with shoplifters! And Steve getting hit on! And how Bruce dealt with that, bwahahaha. Fantastic stuff :D

It was so therapeutic... and not just for me! Whenever someones asks a stupid question or, go forbid, asks where the Tylenol products are, my co-workers will shake their head and mutter, "I wonder if Natasha is working today." It's great fun! They keep pushing me to write a sequel but I don't know if that would be a good idea or not. There are some lovely ideas left over. Maybe I'll have to do the same thing with another fandom!

It was a great prompt! Thank you for the idea!

Hahaha, I LOVE your co-workers and their new catch phrase :D I think a sequel would be fun, or putting another fandom group in the scenario, both would be a laugh. Glad that you're getting the mileage out of it and that it's cheered up your workplace :D