::GLOMPS YOU ALL::

OH THANK G-D IT'S NOT JUST ME!!!

I'm... g-d, I'm SUCH a perfectionist. Even when I'm reading stuff (non-betaing) I'm rearranging things in my head, to how else it might be phrased... but I'm ALWAYS second-guessing myself when I work on someone else's stuff. And... yes, there's absolutely this question about "is this something that should be corrected? Or is it just not to my taste, but might be to others?"

And oh. There was this once...

Confession time. Years ago, several, I was trying to be a better reader... by which I mean, trying to comment on fic I read, and wanting to do more than just say "yay I liked it!" because I know that *I* love all kinds of meta-y comments, and I want to know what someone likes about what I wrote and want to talk about it and pick everything apart... And there's this author that I love, and so I tried to do a really involved reply to a story, except it ended up becoming a beta-thing by accident, and I was SO DUMB and sent it and... well. I never heard anything back (of course) but realized later what I'd done and was just horrified. I'm *still* embarassed and horrified, and have often thought about messaging her and saying "ok, so this one time? I did this dumb thing, but it wasn't out of malice and I'm SO SO sorry" except of course I won't, because it's a few years ago and also I'm too afraid to.

Oy.

But I love the process, and I love being involved, and it's always such an honor to get asked to help out (though if it's someone whose work I haven't read or who I don't know, I'm always kind of afraid to say yes, because, you know, what if it's just terrible? But I love helping.

And I'm crazy-selective about which of my off-line friends I'll beta for. Because it could be such shaky ground if you're not careful, there are only two? I think. Maybe three, that I'd do it for.

I was thinking earlier that all I was doing was thinking about the bad side of betaing but really, I'm with you. I love the process. I love to help. If you don't love it, you can't be a good beta!

I have that problem with comments. I figure that if all I ever do is praise people in comments then it's going to come across as empty praise, right, because if everyone gets praise and I say that everyone is wonderful that does it really have meaning anymore? But then some people like constructive criticism in comments, some people don't, and some people say that they do but they've never really had it and so don't. What I try to do then is say things like 'there were minor spelling/grammar mistakes but it didn't detract from the story' or 'I was a bit uncertain about this bit', things like that, and if the author asks for specifics then I'll give it. Usually they don't, they just say that they didn't have a beta and they'll think about getting one. And then I always end with something like 'I liked it'.

My beta reading, on the other hand, includes everything that I think is good and everything that I think is faulty. All the things.

Whe you say that you did a beta thing by accident, do you mean that you pointed out mistakes or...?

"what if it's just terrible?" I'm gonna confess something here - I actually like it if a fic that I'm beta reading has some obvious mistakes, because then I feel like I can help rather than just praising. If it's bad bad then I'll do a first read through of general things and say that that's what i've done, and that when they've sorted that I can read through again for, say, spelling and grammar, and so on. That way they don't get a heap of crit all at once...and I don't go too crazy ;) But I've yet to read anything that's complete rot. Well, written by anyone but me anyway lol.

I know personally? I generally prefer comments where people tell me things about how they interpreted what was going on, or what they think they're seeing in the work (themes, ideas, and the like) - and/or what they liked about it or what they think worked. I absolutely don't mind constructive comments (ex: when I posted the Bourne Legacy fic I wrote to AO3 a kind soul pointed out that the name Aaron gives Marta in the hotel is "June" Munroe, and I'd mistakenly written Judith.) That's entirely cool, too (though of course I *enjoy* the "yay, I liked xyz" more, but the other's dead useful, so.)

Whe you say that you did a beta thing by accident, do you mean that you pointed out mistakes or...?

As to what I did... I think I've trauma blocked it? (Are you allowed to trauma block things when *you're* the one that did them? Anyway.) I'm fairly sure I did the same kinds of things I do when I beta, which is to say I suggested other ways to have said something, nit-picked at things... I always try to be helpful/positive about it - none of it was mean or mean-spirited, but in retrospect it was also horribly inappropriate of me.


"what if it's just terrible?" I'm gonna confess something here - I actually like it if a fic that I'm beta reading has some obvious mistakes, because then I feel like I can help rather than just praising. If it's bad bad then I'll do a first read through of general things and say that that's what i've done, and that when they've sorted that I can read through again for, say, spelling and grammar, and so on. That way they don't get a heap of crit all at once...and I don't go too crazy ;) But I've yet to read anything that's complete rot. Well, written by anyone but me anyway lol.

I always ask upfront if someone's sending me something for broad-stroke ideas (are we going to talk about plot and characters and what's happening here?) or nit-picky details (like try a different word or sentence structure, or "you need a comma here").

I like all comments of all kinds, but I do get a sinking feeling if I get a comment full of faults without any positive points at all. And I know that I get defensive when someone picks on something that I know I did right and I shouldn't do that *sigh*.

Are you allowed to trauma block things when *you're* the one that did them? Hmm, it's entirely possible that this is why my memory is so bad.